my experience with magick so far  

Posted by Darkmaer

Alright...I'm still up what a shock. Anyway i thought i'd share something with everyone tonight / this morning that i feel i can share with you now. 

My experience with magick since i've been down here.

first off i'm an amateur lets get that out of the way....i've been reading about this stuff for years and just recently i've tried a few things. experimented if you will.

my first attempt was sigil magick. well that is a very very simple type of magick anybody can do it i learned about this type of magick from a book that i always pick up at the book store but never buy...i want to get it someday. but it's Disinformation's Book of Lies..... there is a scottish man by the name of Grant Morrison (comic book artist of "The Invisibles" that at the very beginning of the book tells you about this magick because the purpose is well if you want to believe in magick or see it in action is to do it because magick isn't like hollywood has made it into. So i've looked at this book for about a year and then not too long ago i came across a Disinformation video on google video of him talking about the same thing. so i go online and find a tutorial on how to do this because well even though he says it i'm a visual learner and i also want to make sure i don't mess i do it. it takes about 10 mins to do and your done no crazy crap like setting up candles and crap or an just do it piece of cake. so what was this thing that i tried to attain? well that very day i called up spencers because they were seriously thinking about hiring me...well i got mom's bed bath and beyond the guy didn't like my tattoo's apparently and also tends to hire college girls (heh sounds like what i'd do too) so that was a i needed a job and thats exactly what i did this sigil magick "spell" (if you can even call it a spell) for. my mom came home late that night....forgot to tell me but that morning/afternoon she says call the winsten-salam bed bath and beyond my old GM now a store manager (demoted himself) said he will hire know what i called him up he said to come in and he hired me right on the spot without doing anything...i just needed to fill out another app for records....and you know what i didn't just ask for a just i asked for a prosperous job...and at $6.55 down here for min wage...i can't live off worries even for being a lowly sales associate he gave me $9/hr. 
              again with magick you have to understand one thing.....alot of magick just seems like coincidence (i don't know how many books i've read that have said this) but after so many of these "coincidences" it starts to out weigh themselves....and the fact is this is how you prove to yourself if magick really works because mister joe shmoe that just keeps on saying prove it will never understand because it's truly a personal experience...granted when people see your life changing they might acknowledge it but the reality is most people prolly won't and just think your starting get a run of good luck or some crap.

ok now my second run in with magick....granted not as big as the job thing...but still none the less it proved it's point to me. my first full moon ritual was a ritual done from a enochian ritual and basically it was to promote happiness......first we call in the angels (that is what enochian magick is all about) and we had ahead of time wrote down stuff that you think would make you happy.......i had my list (still have it) and basically the guy running the ritual did a little phycology stuff with us....basically he went around the circle and took are paper that had what would make us happy on it...we were supposed to take it back.....sadly we didn't have to beat him up or anything but he just waved it in front of us and we had to take it out of his hand....the whole point of that was WE as people need to claim our happiness...nobody else but us can.
now a couple a days went by and i was kinda disappointed with the ritual because well it wasn't life changing as i was hoping it was going to be... well i was wrong. not even looking for anything of this nature i ran across a movie looking for other stuff called "living luminaries" and the whole video was obtaining true happiness and not just temporary a special someone, money, car, house...these are all temp. happiness. but it shows you how to be truly happy throught out every day of your life. and even when i watched this i wasn't thinking anything special....but then the group i'm doing this stuff with has a yahoo group and the guy said thanks for coming on the group board......and then it hit me... I was supposed to see that video..... I NEEDED to see that movie.

again sounds alot like coincidence....but if you prayed to God the christian way and asked for something and he gave it to you...would you just throw it aside and call it coincidence....prolly not.

but just so you guys know that google just brought out another thing that is in beta called "Knols" and basically it's a knowledge base...kinda like a wiki but you choose to let who can edit it...but basically i'm going to be writing up a thing on sigils...what they are and how they work. and i'll be sure to post the link on this blog when i'm finished with it. so you can learn and try sigils on your own if you want.

anyway here is that Grant Morrison video on sigil's.

There will be a fork in the road  

Posted by Darkmaer

ok i've been doing some reading from "The Power Of Now" and so far he makes alot of sense. so me being who i am and wanting to know more with less reading i go on google and check out google video and do a search on the author. Now i know Opera has put alot of stock into this guy. as much as i hate Opera i feel she is doing alot of what people are doing in this world and that is searching for the correct answer for themselves. Her ideas are the same ideas that i have. Basically everyone has a way to god and it's different for everyone....well of course the christians will say thats not true...why? because the bible said jesus is the only do they know...because god said so......IN THE BIBLE....can we grasp how this idea doesn't hold up. It keeps going around in a circle with no good foundation. yes i do believe that what the bible says is very powerful....but every other religion teaches the same principle teachings. so anyway so i've heard what these christians are saying and basically they so far from what i've read are blowing Eckhart's words way out of thing is there saying hes talking about other dimentions.......which he is not. he is just telling us how to think differently at life...they think it's evil that hes telling people to quite there know and i'll tell ya right now. it's because my mind was always dwelling on the past that my life was horrible for the most part these last couple of that i am learning how to quite my mind i havn't been this happy in quite  some time. how can these simple techniques be evil.

So we come into a fork from what i can see in my mind. 

  1. in i would say at the latest 2100 god will come and everything that was in the bible was true...whoops fucked up on that.
  2. That what everyone is talking about with this 2012 stuff and astrotheology are telling us is that were going into a new evolution an awakening so to speak...which would make sense that all these types of people are becoming pretty popular because there the ones that are opening up to this and getting ready for us to evolve.
heres the problem i have with churches. these people survive off people giving them money....tell people to come to church and learn about the wonderful person up in the sky and that will give them hope for all the pain and suffering that there enduring in this world. now if you have someone that is saying you can be happy all the time WITHOUT materialistic things (money, women, man, house, that new mp3 player etc etc) and you can have control of your life because you would have a inner connection with'd be telling people this shit is evil to because guess what YOU'D BE OUT OF A JOB then you'd actually have to do real work in your life....FUCK THAT right? 

Through science we have found out that we are all everything not just ourselves but to the world to space.....what makes you think we arn't connected to god too? what we have done is let these people manipulate us with thinking we need to go to a building every week (btw i think jesus even said something about fuck churches...your church is yourself it is your own personal relationship with god...but people have lost that) and god...the Catholics have this fucked up thing where you have no direct contact with got to talk to a "father" so he can rely the message to god.....what the fuck is that? how about that is what i feel if anything were to arise they can use that info to blackmail you if they so choose....just like the scientology freaks do.

but i digress. it's something that won't matter because well faith is faith and nothing will ever change that because each generation of people will say God is coming in there generation...and everyday a generation dies and a new one is born getting taught the same thing.....and history repeats it self.

I must have some charm.  

Posted by Darkmaer

hmm i was just thinking tonight.....I must be doing something right cause it seems like all the ladies who i love/d are coming back into my life. I mean thats a huge ego booster....I know one is completely a friend thing and TRUST ME i wouldn't want it any other way. But I'm happy to say that the other one that just came back into my life there to me is potential....granted i'm now a couple hundred miles away from them (irony of life...or is it just life like to play funny jokes). But the one that just came back into my life I take it as a complete sign that no matter what i or her was not ready for a relationship...i think it was both. i wasn't ready and she wasn't ready my type of relationship...a serious one. So even though it's long distance and technically were still on a friends lvl she has said she regrets ever holding back. but i'm not going to look into it too much. I still have my journey to go on and so does she...but i've seen funny things happen in life. we may be good friend or more down the road who knows...but i haven't gotten along with a women in quite a while so even though some people still prolly say stay away...i hold that in high value. Plus i know she needs someone to be there for her. (the point i'm trying to make with this part...its nice to know that i'm forgivin and not hated by the people that i would have laid down my life for...and i'm still special to them that they want to continue some sort of relationship)

but anyway....these days are CRUISING....seems like everytime i think i'm going to start my day it's already 9 at night. But i'm not sure if i mentioned this in other blogs BUT my orientation is set for well i guess this week (it's technically sunday right now) Thursday at 1 to 5....i'm excited to start making some money and going further with my spiritual journey and what not.

sorry my life is a real bore so i'm going to have to end this blog I just thought i'd get some stuff off my mind real quick.

and hey if anybody that reads these have known me for a awhile....i know i don't have alot of contact with alot of people....but...i want to know if i seem like i'm growing and becoming a better man......or am i still stuck in a whole and haven't progressed.

I'm just here to waste your time  

Posted by Darkmaer

So i'm really really tired of these slow browsers....i mean don't get me wrong i love firefox...but the bad thing is they give me options...TOO many options. so i'm trading in my firefox i think for awhile for safari since well apple snuck that in with the itunes update anyway i might as well give it a has alot of nice build in features and it's quick and a big thing is there is no add ons for it so i can't get bogged down...sadly though the only thing i wish it did have is a google toolbar...but for right now i'll just have to deal without. it's will be a little of a hastle thats for sure considering i have all my bookmarks on google and not anywhere else really. but shit happens...i'll just be actually using google home page more often then i used too (which i have to say...for awhile there i forgot what it looked like) but it's cool. safari is quicker and less cramped so that makes for the most part a more enjoyable experience. anyway i really don't know why i'm typing this...i'm just bored as hell...i'll prolly in a few mins put in a family guy dvd and watch that as i fall asleep. 

but anyway life is looking pretty good down here. granted i've been pretty damn lonely down here but i'm happy so it hasn't really bothered me. It's going to be weird i haven't worked at a job where there is "normal" type people so this will be an adventure... who knows maybe i do start need to hang around some of the "normal" people since it seems the people i hang out with seem to have mental problems left and right. Whelp i'm done here....enjoy this crappy blog this morning.

Faults are beauties in a lovers eye.  

Posted by Darkmaer

The title is what i hold very true to my heart since well i seem to like women who that something about them that is different or strange but you can't quite put your finger on it...and i find that attractive...i tend to hate what the world considers "flawless"

but anyway the quote of the title had to do with eyes so that is also why i used it.....i want to make this a fun blog for me mostly kinda bored with the typical ones that i'm doing.....soooo

were going to talk and show you eyes so if you reading this from a feed to view to me these beautiful eyes please go to the blogger.

well i have one weakness.....forget the body in all seriousness sure it's nice to look at but it doesn't matter how much you have a nice body you don't have control over me....infact if you just have a nice body like most guys the first thing i think about is....yeah shes fuckable...yeah yeah you can think what ever you want but that is the basic deciding factor for a guy of whether he wants to go out with you...i mean all in all in my mind there is a someone who you find is attractive (aka fuckable in the eyes of a guy) then get to know if the personality is there to make it worth the shot to go and date them...then after so many years or whatever marry them. thats the whole idea of finding a mate correct.....finding that person who you are attracted to and become the best friends because there is nothing better then someone who loves you out of choice who will be there forever for you (in theory...)

but anyway i got off subject (i do that alot) my one weakness is eyes...not light, blue.....come on (though i'm not going to say that a redhead with a pair of bright green eyes aint delicious) but my weakness is the dark ones...the ones that when you look at some of them it's just seems like a black makes it so you can't look away like there is just sooo much mystery....and at the same time it makes me want to look away because i feel that they have total control over sit back and enjoy someone of the best eyes i just grabbed real quick off the Internet...and yeah if you know me you know where i found most of these.....also there is one actress that has some beautiful eyes but her pictures suck on the Internet...i guess because shes not all that well known she hasn't gotten a whole lot of close ups yeah...but all her pics seem to be when she is on the runway...meaning...CAKE THE MAKE UP ON!!! which I HATE...i like her in the movies because even though i know she has make up on and prolly alot but due to the lighting it makes her have this natural cute and her eyes just seem to beam but that would be Emmanuelle Chriqui. but anyway on to the i really don't care if you do or not.

Umm This girl below Likes the wheel of time Series so that makes her that much more hotter

The girl below there not super dark but there still dark and captivating

again not super dark....but captivating

and Nikkie Rhodes is another one of my favorites cause she has dark eyes and is a natural redhead (lol look her up you'll see) but yeah i couldn't get any nice pictures of her eyes without anything in her

I must be ready to take the next step into my spiritual evolution  

Posted by Darkmaer

So I've gotten a little behind with my blogs/journals because so much has actually been going on...i useually write them at night and that just isn't working anymore. umm first thing is first......I didn't get the job at spencers apparently they didn't even wait to get the background check my guess is they eventually seen somebody that they liked better...and personally i'm happy about it...i mean it sux i don't have a job right now but i'm happy because i've grown alot and stupid shit like that doesn't matter to me...i wouldn't have fit in because well the place just oozes imature and granted i can be imature at times for the most part which is why i can't have friends really my age is because i try to get a conversation going and what do i get is a bunch of dumb people who can't keep there mind focused on what i'm saying because they always have to blurt out something funny just so they can be the center of attention...which is why i hate group atmospheres because thats all it is is just on big pissing contest. but anyway what i'm going to say is i'm going to be a little bit selective about what i put on here because now i'm really starting to feel it with the spencers thing...granted not getting that job might have been for my highest good...i just feel somebody has interrupted that energy that i sent out by telling you all. Yes that can happen even if it's the most friendliest of friends unless they know how to control there energy and thoughts...alot comes from the subconscious. But anyway enough of that.

Umm anyway yesterday i went to the first Triad CUUPS meeting...yeah it was a meeting more then anything else. but it was nice cause i got to meet some people in the pagan comunity so far 2 people were the nicest one girl and a guy...can't remember the girls name but the guys name is Kenny...thats pretty easy to remember since it's my brothers name to begin with. but he was one of the most talkitive people...but yeah so it looks like i might have my first 2 friends...but this group is really cool i can't wait to be part of it. so far there talking about going to PPD (pagan pride day) and setting up an info table and they need volenteers so I would like to help in there is another thing i can help in this comuniity also they want next year they were going to do it this year but then the one girl that was going to go had to back out cause she is closing the deal on a house and will be moving in that weekend....but apparently there is a big pagan thing in VA every year with workshops and a whole bunch of next year if i get my pagan knowledge up and know how to do stuff instead of just like...wonder around like a bat in the dark....i mean i can read about it all i want but doing it is another thing...there is reason why they call it a craft, or practice...but yeah i'd like to be one of people to go next year...granted that means i need to become a member of the group which i think it's $12 a month which aint too bad but that $12 a month from everyone then goes to pay for trips and stuff like that for people or setting up tables at events and what not.

which brings me to my next part which i'm super super excited about but this Friday is going to be a full moon and I'm going to be going to my first full moon ritual...I'M SOOOO EXCITED not only because it will be my first time but so far everyone even people that come there the first time are saying that these things are very powerful and "stuff" always happens....they said last time as they were banishing the towers everyone saw a huge pentagram at the end of the ceremony materialize above them...but yeah the cool thing is not just the fact that there extremely powerful but each full moon ritual they have an individual person setup the ritual and if you have any knowledge you know pagan is a umbrella like christian you have all these different people with different pagan beliefs doing different rituals every month...I'm sad i missed Kenny's last month because he is does native American stuff...that would have been really cool....but i know i'm not going to be disappointed because my first ritual is going to be Enochian as we call the corners what were going to be doing is summoning angelic forces....sadly the guy asked what they would like to see in the ritual and Kenny had mentioned he would like people to where ceremony clothing...but sadly i don't have anything too cool...i'd totally where my pirate outfit but i still don't got the sexy leather pants yet...and my kilt....well isn't a real kilt and i think in that atmosphere if it's not a good one or at least a "toned" down one i shouldn't where it...since it is made by tripp meaning.....SHIT everywhere on the damn it looks like when i get a job i'm going to be getting the materials together and TRY to make some sort of rope of some sort....along with getting my alter...which is at a place called World Market...for almost $200...i'm debating if i should really just go to home depot and make one that would be perfect for me.....but you know i just really want it to look beautiful and if do something stupid like wood burn or TRY to carve something into it i know it will be really shitty looking you know...i want whatever i have to look as elegant as my future books of shadows.

but speaking of alter and what not...i went to a new newage shop i found on witchvox in my local area....and apparently my mom was in this one once but forgot about it.....I have no clue what so ever how my mom forgot about this one...granted it's not very good as in the book area but for everything else...alters alter supplies this is the king of new age least what I've seen...well the one in TN was pretty nice too...though i can't remember very well about that one....but anyway i felt compelled to buy something and since they had everything the one thing i was looking for...well since back in PA new visions seemed to have them for awhile but then they seemed to disappear and i didn't see them again but i saw a nice little cauldron which iron cauldrons aren't very cheap at all you know the typical ones that they show in cartoons and what not...i don't even know how much one of those would cost if they actually made them typically that guess would be $500 and I'm low balling that prolly. but this one was a good price since i went on an online shop just recently and saw it for like $30 but this one was $17 for the same size about 4 inches high and 6inches across...perfect for an alter and not too big not too small. but yeah my alter supplies are almost complete....just need a few more things...then the alter then i can focus on getting supplies for spells and what not......mind you anybody who knows about magick knows that if you can do it more power to ya but technically you don't need anything to do magick....but for your average person...they need these types of things in order to get the mind in the proper mood....though potions you actually need the herbs and the way potions are not like in harry potter or's just medicine...and if you do some research everything that has advanced our life and knowledge has came from these pagan cultures back in the the day

Alchemy = Chemistry

Astrology = Astronomy

Apothecary = Medicine

We are now seeing that what some would call magick is now what science is calling Quantum i'm not saying it's exactly...but i think Quantum physics is the foundation of why magick works.

anyway i'm done for this blog.

Astro Experience...of some kind, and Reflexology  

Posted by Darkmaer

Well pretty good day today...last night was amazing too...

So what did i do i woke up had myself an egg sandwich with the family....yup that's right it's a offical my mom is now remarried. then after i moved the grass, then after that that they watched "martian child" i said thats alright and played more xbox. when they were done watching that my mom finally gave me a reflexology and Reiki she said she will have to actually wait and see but she said i didn't have bairly any blockages...but why she said wait is because apparently because i hold stuff in (physically don't talk to people about my problems all that much...i useually write them) my feet are callassed and on the bottom they are a different shade because there so "tight" so she said after a few sessions will loosen them up and see if we don't find anymore blockages...but it was a pretty nice and relaxing time...though it was kind funny at times...also apparently when she reaches tender or painful your feet those are the blockages...cause i thought she was digging her nails into at certain spots but apprently not...which was mainly on top of my big toe and apparently that is a mental blockage interesting...i'm definately going to become certified just for the knowledge if anything...and down the road if i feel that it truly is my calling then i'll join my moms practice most likely.

After that she did Daniel (my moms new husband) and i don't think she did the hands at all with him...just the feet...he actually fell asleep...i don't think i could call asleep even if i wanted too. Once done with him they ordered pizza and we had french fries with it too. when eating we watched a film called "wings of desire" it was a 80's German film based on an angel that wanted to "live" it was a unque movie because for the most part it was all inner mono-log becasue the angel couldn't directly contact them but they could hear everyones it was alot of that....pretty cool...though slow...anyway he eventually became the sense of disiring a women so much that he became a "fallen angel".

and now here i am tonight writeing my blog.

NOW about last night. I had a major break through. I'm not sure why i had such a break through maybe it's because i was determined to do it so badly. So I put on my Christopher Penczak guided meditiation cd...since the music in the break ground has been the only thing that has really put me into a deep state...then again it could be the guiding as well. but anyway, In the middle i decided to ignore his voice and try something different on my own accord. I was listening to a podcast about astro travel and how to go about doing it...well i tried it (oh yeah by the way i put that chevron amethyst that i bought on my forehead...i was laying down too). What they said to do was imagine a rope or vine above your head and picture yourself or your soul trying to climb up the rope (since i'm also working on visualing and i can't keep a visual in my head too long they also meantioned visualize yourself running in a dark tunnel with light at the other i interchanged as i would lose visualization on one). Then it this happend (the feeling anyway not the exsperence) to me the first time i tried meditating and it too was laying down...but anyway all my whole body started tingling...if you ever passed yourself out by blocking blood going to your brain it felt kinda like that. then the visuals started coming.
I saw an eye (this part is a little fuzzy to me) but it was moving
and it looked like what i'd say a spider body with an eye on top of the
body...i kinda sensed fear (then again this was my first time doing
anything of this nature) but some how i knew i was safe...then all the
sudden an angel (well it looked like an angel to me...very typical)
picked me up away from this spider/eye thing though it wasn't
like in first person....kinda how i thought it would be. i knew he had
a hold of me but my perspective was above him (the angel). then he
dropped me and i came back out of my mediation...kind of
the drop knocked my concentration.

Now before this i got to the whole body sleeping feeling....but i couldn't concentrate because all the sudden my eye lids were flicking like i had to try very hard to keep them shut...and eventually it over took me and i had to start over again.....they still flickered as i was doing this but when i started seeing the big eye...nothing was going to make me open my eyes then.

So this experience is what i needed to move know and not be afraid...religion and growing up a christian has put a big hold on my moving forward with my life that i feel is the right path for me.

So anyway i'm going to try and do a light mediatative state tonight...because even though I had that experience...i know i can do it and it's real but i think that is way (well not too far ahead) of what i should be attempting without learning how to protect if i'm going to have a better experience i need to be able to learn to concentrate and visualize better.

then tomorrow i am going to church and then later to my meditation group.

anyway Blessings all

Tireing but quick day  

Posted by Darkmaer

ERRR so i went to spencers and basically my background check still has not came back. but since the assistant manager did the interview i guess the store manager wanted to just chat with me for a little while and get a feel for me....hopfully she likes me...but anyway that kinda was dissappointing i was hopeing to just get in there and have a good ol time. and yay yay but then to have it be well yeah...but i'm going to keep my head up and possitive. but anyway i played a little...well actually i spent a few hours playing assassins's such a sexy game. repetitive yes but still a fun game.

umm today was a fun relaxing day though. after coming home and playing my game my mom came home from work and we went out for a little bit...went to the rock shop and some dollar stores and i picked up a frame finally for my Reiki Certificate...I wish i could have completed it all the way...but everything happens for a reason right?...maybe that will give me reason to come back up to PA more often to finish my classes at least....not saying friendship isn't important...but i really would like to finish my classes.

Then we went to the rock shop and i picked up about $19 worth of rocks and stuff...i picked up Septarian, Chevron Amethyst (that is the one i needed for my 3rd eye), red jasper, Iolite, and i picked up a pendulum for spirit work...i'm excited about that and although it has a chain with it i'm going to make one special just for know personalize it. but for $7.50 for a pendulum aint bad at all...they had real stones but i don't think this one is real....but it was just so pretty...maybe later i'll replace the point but right now i'm just concerned about replacing the chain. because i think you can make it alot more geared towards what you want then the actual point....but hey it don't matter everything will work for what it's meant for. but anyway check out my's growing pretty nicely.

The really funny part is my mom actually pointed out the pendulum for me...which really shocked me to be's wierd I also had bought a book called Spirit Allies by my favorite pagan author Christopher Penczak and she was curious about that too....i'm not sure if she is interested as far as wanting to know her "guardian angel" or if she is more curius about her mom...either way it's nice that she is interested to go outside the norm of christian ways a little bit.

But anyway so far the most pain in the ass part about having this rock collection is keeping it nailed far i still don't know some of my older ones i bought yeah now i need to try and remember what is what...i'm starting to take pictures of them at the stores ahead of time so i know what is what...and in my crystal bible i'm highlighting the ones i have...though i've already messed up the one because it was spelled now i have to go get that one just because i highlighted it lol.

but yeah i think spiritually down here is going to be much better...i feel in my element compared to up in york...york has just such a bad vibration there...i can just feel the negetive energy weigh you down. AND SPEAKING OF YORK...i should have gotten my paycheck from hottopic but i havn't seen anything in my account.....i worked up till the last day...well sunday...i should have recieved a deposit in my account...which is ticking me off.

But anyway even though i miss some friends up north...this is a really good place right now in my life...i just need that job to come through and i'll be a very content boy. Spiritually i just feel that i'm there I'm complete to a certain exent...i know i need to go further. but i'm at piece right now. i don't feel demons are plagueing me anymore

I can't think of what to write. I can't think of what to write. I can't think of what to write. I can't think of what to write. I can't think of what to write. I can't think of what to write. I can't think of what to write. I can't think of what to write. I can't think of what to write. I can't think of what to write. I can't think of what to write. I can't think of what to Write.

Oh yeah tomarrow my mom is actually going to perform some reflexology on i'll have to let everyone know how that goes...and because she is a Reiki 2 as well then she will also be doing that as well becasue Reiki is an automatic thing...if i need the healing it comes to me naturally.....and hopefully will clear some blockages up on me...cause i know i need it....but yeah anyway i'll give you guys an update on that then tomarrow night.

I think i'm going to Meditate.....cause i really do need to get into a habit of doing it each night....and if i have time...since my meditating takes about a half an hour and it's already 11:15 i'll put some stuff down in my book. I also want to get starting my Book of Shadows...and i think i know what i need to do...i need to get one of those leather journals...but first find a 3ring binder that can roughly fit into one of those and make my book of shadows becasue thats something i really would like to do....the company that made my journal does have 3 ring binders for like $140 or something like that but i have to choose black because the way he makes them the back is black so it kinda sux like i need to pick something that looks good on black....and i'd love to have the one i have in a 3 ring binder but that covers the whole thing front and back...and because of that the 3 ring binder the world tree would be cut in half because nothing is allowed on the yeah kinda sucky...but it is the only leather bound 3 ring binder i've come across that looks worthy to be a book of then again i do know there is this one company that makes them really really beautiful like something you'd see out of a fantasy book....but alas i'm going to be paying a couple grand for one...i'll see if i can't find one and post a picture up on here. Actually this one is on sale for only $399.00 so wow...that might actually be tempting to do in the long run...hehe i might be saving up for this bad boy...anyway you can find these books at Brahm's Bookworks...check them out...i'm going to email them and ask about getting my book binded by them for my own personalness.

anyway i think i'm done for tonight

so many books so little time  

Posted by Darkmaer

Alrighty for some reason i have not used this one program i have as a plugin for firefox called today i'm going to use it. which i like it so far because all i have to do is press a little icon in the corner of my browser and it fills up half the screen with a full word editor where i can add video pictures you know the useual but also has alot more other stuff and of course you can add multipule blogs and you can just send it over and over. and another cool thing is i can even though this is my first blog using this thing i can bring forth past blogs from the blog picker off to the side.....but yeah this is a little nifty the sad thing is i've had this thing for awhile now and havn't used though i did imput my blogs already to just start writing. but the cool thing though is now...i can view all my tabs and just surf the internet while haing this right below so i can thinking about what to write while i'm writing which for me usually i get alot of what i write just surfing the internet...but the sucky thing is i have useually have to keep a tab open just for my blogger to keep it up like that and with this i can keep this up and do the internet surfing or i can make it dissapper and bring it back up and my writing is still there.

Well spencer's called me back so now i'm going there tmorrow morning to see whats up...going to prolly run me through stuff and what my job is when i start what my pay is going to be and all that Jazz. but i'm not going to be too curious about there pay because i know how it was in york. so yeah the good thing is i got the job.

Anyway i really didn't do too much today. right now i'm watching a documentary on Bill Hicks and waiting for my mom to do what she is doing and were going to go pick up some mexican food and bring it back to the house because she wants to keep cleaning. i personally don't think the house is that bad at all but what do i know i'm not super gun hoe on having some place super clean..if stuff is organized and i know where it is along with having the floor walkable i'm happy. like right now my desk has got som plugs my remote for my xbox, headphones, mail, lighter, xbox controller, xbox game (assassins creed) my usb flash drive, some little baggies that i bought some rocks from and there just laying here.....and i got charcoal and insense and deodorant all on this little desk...not including my normal stuff like speakers, monitor, external HD, digital camera. anyway i'm getting way blabbing.

Well we just got done watching Jurassic park and we have already been to the Mexican restaurant so yeah the day is pretty much over and this is going to be after 12 so i'm getting behind my 3page a day blog...i already missed last night oh well.

but right now i'm watching a George Carlin stand up...cause i've been wanting good laughs of late. anyway Yesterday i picked up another book (damn that used book store) mainly i picked it up because i knew i could find it anywhere because i always see it everywhere so i was sure i could pick it up at the bookstore but my friend Jess said it was a really good book. anyway it was "The 21 Lessons of Merlyn" you know that wizard...but i was always a little hesitent to pick it up because it has such a big media myth charactar such as Merlin or Meryln how ever you want to spell it. but actually reading the first part it is done in a really cool way. it's about druidism because that was what Meryln practiced but it's cool because it's set in story mode but it's also shows you how to do stuff through it's wording...though i think it's also got section that is purely magick and what not but still i like when i read a book like that......such as "MY BOOK" the legend of drizzt by R.A. SALVATORE which why i call it my book is because that book is me...if you want to understand me to a great that book. but anyway it showed magick but because of the way it's written unless you know what your reading you really don't know whats in front of you. anyway thats another book to my collection...i'm really surprised that i don't have a bigger collection with how much i feel that i buy books....but once i start getting this job up and running i'm really going to try and get that Eastern Press collection of the "100 Greatest Books Ever Written" because i've been wanting to do it for awhile now...but do to the fact that i'd have to spend $45 every month....but i know i spend well over that normally on books a yeah i might as well start it....cause when i have kids i do want to have a nice set of books to read to my kids...cause then i can give them to them to give and read to there kids....and so on and so forth.

So while i'm on the book topic this is a new achievment DRUM ROLL PLEASE!!! I actually finished GENISIS!!! holy cow...and to tell ya the truth it started getting good at the end but for the most part dragged all to hell. and what i found funny was how much stuff when i was a kid had SOOO much detail in my childrens books.....then i read the bible and something that fills up a whole childrens book when i was a kid has about 15 sentances worth in the i'm trying to figure out how they get so much info out of 15 sentences....but the good thing is i'm actually figureing stuff out that i should have known...maybe i did i just didn't put it together...such as how the hebrews got down in egypt and became slaves to begin you find out by the end of GENISIS...but the way it's written it does seem like what Jordan Maxwell said.....that Jews choose a god out of a series of gods to be there god....cause just the way god talks to the people god always makes sure to say something along the lines of i'm the lord of your father and his father...if you were a one and only just say i'm god...not i'm the god of your father...thats a givin you dumb that is my point.

but anyway this might not be 3 pages but i'm tired got to be at the mall by 10 and i really just want to relax and laydown read a little while i'm watching this show and hit the cya all

So i'm going to join a cult  

Posted by Darkmaer

Well another night another Journal Log. Well i kind of did a quick little check on my finances and decided i needed to celebrate getting a job sooo what I did was today i technically got up around 3 in the afternoon. and went on out to the new age shop to get my Amethyst well I got looking around and decided to get a few things i got 3 stones...well 2 stones and some wood that is now a personally i can't call that a stone no matter what. and then i saw in the glass case these beautiful necklaces made out of porcelain by a company Called "Touchstone Pottery" well i saw one that was a donut shape with a flat back with some Celtic knot work which represents spiritual growth...something i'm always working on so i thought it fitted perfectly for me so i got it. So my first piece of jewelry that is special to me....i'd still like a piece of jewelry from someone that means alot to know to make that piece of jewelry even 10x more special to me....but that doesn't look like that is going to happen for quite some time. but i also picked up a Coexist bumper sticker for my car. but anyway (and this is mainly to take up space to try to make it 3 pages mind you) i'm going to tell you what stones i got and there meanings.

Amethyst: Is known as a stone of spirituality and contentment. Helpful in entering and maintaining meditative state. Helps business affairs prosper. Can be used to protect against psychic attacks. It can support sobriety.

Petrified Wood: Allows for access to past lives via meditation with the stone. A stone of transformation, assisting one to advance to one's highest chosen level. Shows that all actions lead to ultimate purpose.

Green Calcite: A mental healer, dissolving rigid beliefs and old programs. Helps in letting go of what is familiar but which no longer serves. Aids communication. Powerful stimulator for the immune system. Absorbs negativity and rids the body of bacterial infection.

Oh and for the people that kind of laugh this stuff your research. everything vibrates such like our bodies are vibrating...certain vibrations do certain things to the body. just like how certain flashes of light along with the flicker of a TV can give some people seizures. People underestimate the mind and body.....i've always have said and thought that there is a cure for everything in nature whether it be plants or even i'm not so sure about these government made illnesses.....such as AIDS and Cancer but for the typical illnesses i feel that still holds true.

after that i went back to Earthfare because i forgot butter the other day and i picked that up and along with that tea thing i talked about but anyway apparently you can drink any tea like this but apparently this is how they drink it down in south America. but anyway the Tea that is supposed to be drank out of this is called "Yerba Mate" and basically all it is is a hallowed out gourd and you fill that gourd up with tea leaves 2/3rds full...then you tilt it and make space on one side for water (cold water) put enough in but not too much that it covers the top of the tea. you let it settle and sink into the clump it together then once it's soaked up you stick the metal straw in......which is covered on the end with vents so not to get the leaves (though when you first start you do get some in...but it's ok) then you take hot water (about 150 degrees F) and now you got your tea and you drink it can be a single drink or a group thing....which i like that version better....when you first drink it it's pretty strong but once you keep on drinking it gets more mellow. but anyway it's just a little gourd but the cool thing is because there is so much tea in it you can keep filling it up and still drink and drink...which is why it would be a good campfire thing (ditch the pot and have some tea....why would you really want friends that you had to be high around to have fun) but anyway it says one preperation should last through several quarts of hot thats pretty they say you can put honey in it too....which does sound like it would make it better but I don't know how i would really do that as of right now....i mean i guess you could put it right into the gourd but honey for me unless i try to stir it up just goes down to the my sugestion would be to get yourself a container that holds the hot water (that way you can fill it up over and over on the go) and put the honey in there so you can shake it up and what not.....just a thought. but anyway i really like the idea. also the reason why they really promote this tea "Yerba Mate" is because apparently it's got the power of coffee with much less caffeine so no jitters and you get the energy and apparently you can go right to sleep too when you want to compared to coffee....also it's got antioxidants which rival tomato and spinach...i wish they had a little graph for green tea but apparently good or better then green tea. but yeah this little kit came with a cd-rom with a little interduction to the company and the tea and it came with the gourd and the straw (which is special just for this way of drinking) and it also came with 6oz of yerba mate which after my first prep of tea i know that 6oz is going to last me for quite some time.

anyway check out the site if your interested Nativa

After that i went to the used book store again...i got to stop that...but when you can get a brand spanking new book that doesn't even look used to at the most i've seen (well the stuff i like) for $13 compared to the $30 retail price....hells yes i'm going to take advantage of that. So today i went and picked up one of my potter books that i had gotten rid of because i was strapped for money at the time...but that one was the "half blood prince" know the green looking one. doesn't looked touched....$10 booya.

Then out of curiosity because again i don't know anything about this religion (well much anyway) i decided to pick up the book to eventually read.....MIND YOU have no worries i'm not going to go down this path because i think it's an utter joke to begin with and i have to laugh at anybody who is involved with the religion.......but i picked up the book called "Scientology: The fundementals of thought (the basic book of the theory & practice of scientology for beginners)" and it is by the creator of Scientology the science fiction writer (yeah you know that crappy movie battlefield earth....thats one of his books) L. Ron Hubbard. but i got to say without a doubt they put together a nice book.....granted every cover looks like it should be on a cheesy psychic commercial.....but the book it self is really take the cover off and it's got a nice little picture on the book it's self and it's a nice green hard bound book...and on top of that it's got a nice little feature that i actually wished every book would just makes things easier and nicer but it's got 2 finger "notches" of where the appendix, and glossary and from what i had seen all the books that he writes on i got to give them props there. but ANY and i repeat ANY religion that requires thousands of dollors to apparently to get started on (i mean sheesh why make books about the whole religion if it requires you to put thousands of dollors in...just make the info private until you give them the money then you get the books......UNLESS and i don't think that is how it is...that you can do this religion BUT if you actually want to be apart of the "church" you need to put forth the money...that would make sense since that seems to be the way alot of religions know the dishonest money grubbing religions) and a relgion that in order to be apart of you have to HOOK UP A STUPID MACHINE that doesn't do a damn thing (except maybe it's a lie dectector) and your supposed to tell them every little secret to the church that you might have that you might not want to reviel to anyone......basically so later they can blackmail you if you start talking bad about the church.....and of course there are talks about murders by the church for people that talk TOO much. but anyway.....just wondering what they believe don't worry people...i'm not a dumb person. but yeah so far the book seems very know like those little pamlits(sp?) that christians drop off at different places with the stupid comics on them.....yeah it kind of reminds me of that when i flip through it and see some of the pictures they have.

Well tonight i was supposed to pick up my mom and well guess what.....flight was delayed till right now there in Michican staying at a i'll pick them up tomarrow afternoon. anyway i think i'm done this blog for tonight.......and i'll leave you with a funny Scientology thing since i was talking about it.

I want to embrace you and never let you go.  

Posted by Darkmaer

Well end of the night I'm getting tired time to write my blog. today was a pretty good day except for the fact that the new age shop was closed monday. but oh well. i wanted to get an amethyst and try a laying least until i can create some sort of crown thing....i have an idea of how it would look but it's just making it. the reason being is amethyst is supposed to help open up the third eye. and i'm wanting it to open so bad...even though i know i should just let it happen naturally but again i think that is my #1 thing i'm supposed to learn in this life is patience. but anyway before that i woke up at about 8 got into the shower got dressed and went for my interview with spencers. well they had me fill out some paper work after i gave them there little interview and there are now in the process of doing a background check. so i guess that means i got the for the kinda cool part it's SALES SUPERVISOR so that means i'm only 2 positions from store manager...granted i personally don't ever see myself being a store manager for anything because well...i'm just too laid back. but the good news is the fact that this is now something i can officially put on my resume thats actually REAL manager position...i mean keyholder was technically but the fact that it is a title such as keyholder it almost seemed laughable and i think thats what most people seen it as. but now it's official that i actually am in a manager position. then i went to subway grabbed a sub not really thinking that i wasn't going straight back to my i thought about something real quick headed over to hot topic because i saw it when i went in before but thought i'd ask thinking the answer would be no anyway....but they had a WITHIN TEMPTATION shirt and of course no larges....but i asked anyway if the shirt in the plexi was a shirt...i hate doing that because i know how much i hated it but low and behold it was worth was a lucky day so far. considering nobody i personally know when i mention them knows who they are..granted you couldn't get there albums for awhile here but now there signed to roadrunner.....err there is just something about when someone gets signed to a big label that shit starts to fuck up for them...there poppy something is wrong with that's lost it's enchanting quality that i loved about there music (BTW there needs to be something done about the genre that this type of music is's tied in with alt metal...sure there is some songs that have a little electric guitar but by no means is it METAL whats so ever).

Anyway after that i went to my new bank (errr) bank of America i know fucking large banks. but i wanted something with mobile access and it was either that or wachovia or however the fuck you spell that.....and i had an account with them...not sure what happened to it whether my ex screwed me over in that department (we moved apart it was a join order for her to be off the account she had to be present even though it was my account to begin with....whatever...but we broke up and never got around to doing it so i let her "have the account" even though my name was still on it so hopefully everything went well in that department) but i didn't want that indian bank company (i'm assuming it sounds like an indian name). so bank of America it it is nice that i can paybills look at my balance without having to be home or calling a # and inputing 50 different options just to do something....just get on there WAP site log in and bam there is my balance of my checking and savings and i can transfer funds and pay bills and i think a few other things too as yeah pretty handy. but yeah i went there because when i first got here i knew i needed an account so i went there and started an account well bank of America are a bunch of fucks and think it's normal to NOT have free i have to do certain things in order not to have a $6 fee every month....well i go on there website and find out that if i open an account ONLINE like it's some big fuckin deal of whether i do it online or at an actual bank really matters....i get free checking....because before i had to at least have a direct deposit going into my checking account (i just fucking moved here with no job...thats not going to be happening most likely) or you have to maintain $1000 balance.....yeah thats not happening either....well yet anyway...same with savings...i need to put a certain amount in that too to not pay a fee...but this could be any means it doesn't have to be direct deposit...but i'm not complaining about that it will force me to put money into it and save.....but they also got another program with there check card which is nice as well called keep the change.....basically it makes life a little easier (at least for me) and it helps me save money...basically for example if i pay $6.35 for a cup of coffee when i use my card $7.00 is taking out of my it rounds it up to the nearest dollor..and what happens is it makes it nicer for you to balance your checkbook since it's a flat rate and no change.....then what happens is the $0.65 gets put into your doesn't sound like much but you do a few purchases in a day you might be looking at a few dollars in your's kind of unless your poor as fuck but i don't see myself being like that again...i feel like i have some control in my life.

after that i went the the HUGE used book,cd,and movie store. and found hard bound versions of the Celestine Prophecy so i picked up 2 of those. one for myself and one for my friend Jess since she was the one who introduced me to the movie, and i know she is a huge lover of it and she doesn't have the book (obviously) and then there was the sequel to the book called "the tenth insight" which i picked up that as well...once i read it i might hand it over to Jess to have as well and maybe i'll be lucky and find it again but they only have one of those. and i also bought a book from this Vietnamese monk about Buddha called "Old Path White Clouds" and the main reason why i got that is well i don't have any Buddhism books and 2 the meditation group that i just started going to that is the teachings (the monk not Buddha himself)of who they follow so i picked that up to hopefully get a better understanding...cause to be frank i always here stuff about Buddhism but i never really know what they truly believe...hopefully this book will clear some stuff up.

oh yeah before the bookstore i went to the organic store and picked up some soy milk and a vitamin water. but i also ran into a curious thing with least it's new to me...but i can't find it anywhere on the internet because i forgot what it's called.....from what i gaher it's kinda like a coffee press effect but use a metal or wooden straw and the cups are like a gourd or wood..and there all fancy looking but it looks like the leaves are loose but the straw is vented so almost as to get the liquid but not the leaves....i don't know but once i start getting paid i'm going to get one and give it a go since this store has all kinds of tea and it's loose tea too not in any bag or what not.

after that (this is after the bookstore) i went home for a little while played a little X-box, read a little bit of my book about dragon magick. then went to the market and picked up some food for a few days. and came back here watched a film and now i'm here.

but anyway i think if this were paper it would be about 3 pages worth (considering my writing) so i think this is a good place to stop

and for my enjoyment more then yours since i talked about within temptation i now have to put a few videos below.

this is by far my favorite song by them...too bad it's not a video video but one of those stupid slide show things with the stupid pictures

ah and this can relate to my past very well

Stupid video....i don't like the way she acts in it...but good song

What sick ridiculous puppets we are, and what gross little stage we dance on  

Posted by Darkmaer

So I'm not sure if people actually are going to want to be reading my blogs much anymore but i'm actually going to be using this as a real journal i'm starting my training and well first thing is first is i'm supposed to start a journal and right at least 3 pages a day. and it says if i can't think of stuff to fill in for roughly 3 pages start repeating the sentence "i can't think of anything to write" the reason is so i get sick of writing/typing that that i find something to write about in my life even if it's the most boring as hell thing in the world. i'm going to be doing this for 2 reasons....1. to start my spiritual path and then 2. is to get in the habbit of writing sooo much that i start writing my book....granted i still need to do research on quite a bit of things. i have my book on alchemy though it's only one book, i have my book on dragons and dragon magick (sorry you can't have a fantasy book without just can't) and i even got myself a crystal ball and a book about that to study that.....granted not a real one...though i'd like to get a real one there so beautiful but your looking at $200 for one the size of my fist....yikes. and i need to do a few more things as far as studying goes to really get this book on the ball. i have the story down to the T i mean there is a few mystery things that i'm unsure of cause well i want to try to make it really unique and not be a typical type fantasy book.....nice little people in a village get taken away on a adventure (lol thats how my book sue me) and fights an evil that will dominate the whole world.....i want to put a really big spin on it...something to question your own life choices, your own faith...and yes with who i am it's going to be deeply died into religion....i want it to be a story but a story with a huge underlining of religion and politics.....that even though you know it's a story of fantasy that i'm trying to get real world topics across to you. but without a doubt the writing is going to be very unique. i think anyone that knows my personality will agree on that much. I want to bring the fantasy genre to a whole new level where not everyone can handle it to a certain extent. that is the #1 thing that has always bothered me about the very most and this is pushing it fantasy books if rated movie wise PG-13 is the max i've seen it. I want it to use my term "gritty" i want it R to possibly NC-17 and i'm not talking just sex...cause i'm sure thats exactly the first thing that crosses there mind when they think I'm talking about bringing the worst realities of this world into a work of fantasy...sure there is going to be sex in it.....but there is also going to be rape, cannibalism, gay sex (since that is still a big issue....and i'm talking about gay sex not the good kind hehe) occultism, self mutilation, torture just anything that could be taboo and make it super detailed and super "gritty"

I'm not sure why i feel i need to write in this manner maybe i do need to get my own demons out....or maybe it's just that i feel that what John Doe from "Se7en" is write when he said "Wanting people to listen, you can't just tap them on the shoulder anymore. You have to hit them with a sledgehammer, and then you'll notice you've got their strict attention."

Truth Rising  

Posted by Darkmaer

New Documentary that is a must watch people.

First day of church  

Posted by Darkmaer

Well i got to say first day was a little akward but for the most part everyone was really nice. I met someone who actually just moved down from lockhaven, least i think that is what she said...would have been another town. and i've already met an initiated witch which just by the look of him i kinda had a good idea that he was. but yeah so far everyone was nice and i had a really good time for the most part. we had some state offical of some kind do ther "sermon" which it was about the church and politics so that was cool any talk by someone who is in politics i get a great joy about.

but anyway there is all kinds of extra activities in the church in fact in about and hour and a half i'm going to go back and they have a meditation group with a Monk so i'm going to partisapate in that and maybe gets some pointers there....since well i'm having problems opening up my 3rd eye....everytime i meditate i feel a push pull feeling almost to the point that i feel i'm going to have a massive headache by the time i'm done mediateing but when i'm done it never happens so i know it's not like i'm concentrating to hard when i meditate (because your not supposed to concentrate on anything....your supposed to let your thoughts kind of flow by like watching water run down a river.....observe but not interact with least thats what i've come to think of it as) but i've talked to numerous people and they all say it's my third eye trying to open...and anybody that knows me i'm to some certain extent have some sort of 6th sense.....i know people for the most part before i even talk to them i know when people are being untrusting etc etc and i have a feeling if i can open up my 3rd eye it will be a whole nother world for me...but i just got to get to that point.

but anyway enough of that when my mom gets back i think were going to start my reflexology stuff and she is even going to start working on me and unblocking my MANY blockages...which i know i have. and hey you never know maybe i do have a blockage on my 3rd eye and this will help...but i know i have blockages on my throat, heart and stomache.....and maybe others....i know i also need "cords cut" but i think that will come in time with me getting out there and being apart of the pagan community.

anyway i'm done for this blog.



Posted by Darkmaer

Boy what a week so far...I'm thinking since i don't have a job that my days for the most part would be somewhat relaxing...but low and behold everyday has been busy as hell.

So whats up so far?

When i first got here i basically did a quick hello and went straight to unloading my car because i knew if i sat down or relaxed i wouldn't want to get stuff out of the within the first hour i had everything unpacked (took a quick break to get a drink before taking the bed off the top of the car. Then after doing that i put my bed together as my mom went and got us subs from the time she got back the bed was done and i was working on putting my desk i had bought before i came down here together. once that was done and my computer was setup that was the end of the night for was time to relax. My room is quite big...about as big as my old room in my George St. apartment.....though since i have a single bed i have even more space. about the only thing i really need is a computer chair (using a kitchen table chair) and some sort of table or something......then i seen the perfect size and height round table as this pier one import type store down here for an alter....but it doesn't come cheap hopefully it will still be there when i get a job. so after i took the weekend to relax...

Each day I've been getting up and going around town and picking up applications and boy is that annoying....i've filled out like 10 so far. I have a interview for spencer's monday. and hopefully i hear back from bed bath and beyond because that will be a manager position. So far those are the only ones that i've gotten a reaction out fare (a natural food supermarket) said to i guess there the kind of company that likes callers.

anyway last night my mom took my card and went to bed bath and beyond (she works of her many jobs) and picked me up a 50 pack of these altra thin hangers so now all my clothes are all hung up (so no wrinkles...yay) and then this morning i had to take them to the air-port since they are going to go see her boyfriend's reletives in Wisconson then after that i came home (got lost) and basically at that time i put all my clothes in the dryer (to get them un-wrinkled) and hung them up.....then after that i went and dropped off all my apps to the places that i had picked up yesterday. then i went to target and picked up another bookshelf (my desk came with a little waist size shelf) you know one of those cheap $30 six footers. so i just finished that and cleaning up my room from the mess of the shelf and all the empty boxes that most my books were still in....i'm down to 2 boxes now...misc shit box and i need another wine box to fit the rest of my dvd's in (my moms boyfriend is a big fan of wine and goes to wine tasteing thingers all the time so he gets the left overs alot...and boxes...there handy for exactly that...dvds) but yeah after i got home today from getting the book shelf i realized that i was i knew i got sun burnt coming down here....but i didn't realize it was that bad that i was actually going to blister.

But as far as meeting people....i think i'm going to go to a church...though not your typical church. this is a Unitarian Universalist church. Which basically it is a church that accepts all faiths without the credence and disrespect you get from dogmatic religions. So I'll prolly go for multpile reasons. 1 is i really don't know anybody here. this will give me a foot in the door at least. 2 i am a fan of studying all religions....what better of a place then a group of mixed religions that meet every sunday. and 3 they have a group called the CUUPS (Covenant of Unitarian Universalist Pagans) which is a pagan group inside this church that meet and do rituals (along with another male group called "the royal order of The Knights of Herne" which i'm not too sure about.) but yeah i think this is a good opertunity to shine down here and meet some like minded people.

another thing i've been doing since i've been down here is i have actually been reading my bible...granted the main reason why is because of a book i almost got finished before i had to give back to my friend called "Eden: The Knowledge of Good and Evil" but i picked up this little pocket bible because all all my bibles i have are these big ass ones infact the nice one i have is prolly an inch and a quarter hauling that thing around can be a pain so i was looking for a nice little one and right away when i saw this one i had to get it....i didn't care about the translation or anything i just saw it and had to get it...but so far the translation is not too bad compared to what i have seen. but it's a English Standard Version it's a dark green with a celtic knot cross on it.....quite beautiful so i had to get it. But yeah i'm actually almost finished with Genisis which is something i never have done before...i usually get bored really quick. but then again since i'm not working there really isn't much i could be doing until i get hired somewhere.

Anyway that is my update on my life.

Cheers for now.

And were off  

Posted by Darkmaer

so yesterday was my first day picking up apps. so i picked up apps for typical spots for right now.....i went to the mall re-applied at fuckin hot topic...err....then waldens books and spencers....that was all i could apply for since everyone else was online apps only. well just within today i got an interview for spencers and also i went to bed bath and beyond (my mom works there too...along with a few other places) and apparently they need someone in manegment so i went there today filled out the app took a survey and they said they will get back to me friday about a real interview i believe with the store that would be sweet if i could get that right off the least until i can find a non social job.....i don't particulary like people. I also picked up a panera bread app and i guess for the most part if none of these work out i'll be pushing up fast a week i'll give it then i'm going to fast food.