Should i upgrade?  

Posted by Darkmaer

So debating debating. christmas is around the corner and i always tend to go overboard for myself because well...who else is going to go overboard on me? so I've been hauling around quite a bit...for some reason more when i didn't have a car no clue what thats all about. but i have my blackberry, my ipod, and usually at least one book when i'm heading into work a shirt and a apron is added to that mess. so i'm debating. my brother granted he wants me to eventually start doing more with the business.....i'm doing stuff actually right now tho it's taking me some time to get into it. but it's not sooo important that i have a blackberry like it was before (since i don't think i'll be a main part of the business really) so getting email isn't a must like we thought it was and the main reason i got my blackberry....and don't get me wrong i love my blackberry to death. but it has it's down falls and frankly it's downfalls are cripling for me. the lack of memory is my only gripe i have for the blackberry....which seems to be my major gripe for all phones that i've ever had. it wouldn't be so bad but when you have a phone that is supposed to do what it's suppose to do...i keep bare essential programs on the phone google apps (mail,maps,sync), myspace app, facebook app and my chat program that i actually paid $30 for. then the emails add up.....and it's taxing on the phone so much so that sometimes when a chat comes in i have to wait a good 20sec before it will come's a i'm highly thinking of going for the iphone for a couple of reasons. free a hand...i don't need the ipod anymore (give it to my mom)
2. 16gigs built more really do i have enough room. granted my music collection overshadows 16gigs in a major way it's not like i'm going to fill it with shit i really don't listen to since i've learned from my little 8gig ipod that i really don't need my whole music collection with me. just a good veriety to keep me entertained and not bored.
3. they might be slow at getting stuff up and running on the iphone (copy & paste, MMS, etc etc) but the nice thing is there always trying to improve on it and updating it on a regular basis with new features...which is another thing about a touch screen phone...they can add what ever features they want because they arnt limited to what they have.....just add a new button on control.
 4. it's apple ;) i know i'm going to hate certain typing on the thing...honestly i would prefer a touch sensitive keyboard something i can feel....the i phone you have to be looking at the damn screen to know what your typeing.....unlike my blackberry i can be talking to someone that is in front of me giving them my undivided attention while still typing a txt to someone for example.

i don't know i guess will see how christmas will go and if i get some decent money...some how i'll highly think about it.....cause there is the blackberry bold out now too....but i don't know i feel that blackberry is a little too fragile for today i dropped it the battery cover fell off and the battery fell out as well. again we shall see.


Posted by Darkmaer

So I'm starting my first day of my's a 2 week period. and i have to drink 10 glasses of 8oz distilled water with 1/2 a lemon (organic preferred) 1-2 tsp of grade-b maple syrup, and 1/10th tsp of ground cayenne pepper. I'm sticking it in a 20oz and doubling the dose. so far it's not too bad. they said to slowly work your way up to 1/10th tsp of the pepper but i didn't even really measure that part i just stuck in half of 1/4th tsp so i figured that would be just fine. and so far the concoction aint sooo bad. but they say once you get past the 3rd day it's alot easier going. but something tells me i'll be doing alot of meditation to keep myself in a good frame of mind until i get over that hump. but i'm really excited for multiple reasons. 1 weight loss, 2 what effects it's going to have on me with spirituality (through either meditation or maybe even visions...because of not eating anything for that length of period) and 3 i want to see if i have any worms inside me (almost guaranteed). and i'm sure when your body is cleaned out i'm sure you notice stuff alot more better like if you have a sex life (i don't) sex i'm sure would be better and what not. your breath will smell alot better due to not having the toxins coming out of your freakin mouth. i don't know there is just so much ups that i might as well give it a shot you know.

so wish me luck i'll need alot of motivation because i love food :D

My Thoughts on Twilight  

Posted by Darkmaer

So last night i just got done with the first book in the Twilight series because well frankly it seemed like all the Harry Potter fans just went to that series. So I was a little curious since I was and am a Harry Potter fan. So i asked a lady who i know what all the hoopla (that has to be one of my favorite words...that i think i might have made least i can't remember if i heard it anywhere before) was about well she just gave me the answer well it's kind of a girly romance type book and i prolly wouldn't like it. so i just said okay and left it alone. now as the movie is getting closer to release it started getting to me again. I'm thinking well if its big enough to make a movie and frankly not just women could make this book as big as it has gotten i'm thinking just about every young person is reading it not just women. so i asked another girl and she just said give it a shot. so i went out and got the first book.

So i started reading it and thinking nothing really special about the book actually i thought it seemed rather like a high school based anime type of thing without the excessive humor or panty shots. But the more i read the book the more funny i thought the "love" of these 2 people had. I also thought it was funny how it corolates (sp?) to people in real life and people needing to feel important. I also thought how interesting it was that this story seemed to have alot of the same things that the Sookie Stackhouse series of books (the series of books that the True Blood series on HBO is based on) have between the vampire and girl in those, so i'm guessing that that series had a huge impact on her making the Twilight series.

But what bothered me the most i guess is when it comes to real life. This book, reading it I understand it i can feel why this is a complicated relationship. But then i look at real life and it blows my mind. People will make this type of a relationship into a reality (so to speak). People need to feel special in some way, so they build drama around there relationship even if they don't have too. THEY WANT a complicated relationship. People never go out with someone who really wants to go out with them, that isn't a challenge and thats no fun, why go out with someone who can just settle in and they can be happy for good or at least for awhile, no we want complication, because it makes us feel like we have something in our lives we have something to bitch about.

Then i looked at there love, there is 2 things that is making this girl "love" this guy. A: hes a vampire, hes mysterious...i understand that to some certain extent but i don't want no mysteries in my relationship and then what appears to be her main source of "love" that was repeated over and over and almost overbearing and frankly started to annoy me through out the book.....hes good looking. thats the only and really only thing i saw clearly about why she "loves" him...i don't know about you but that doesn't scream love but that sounds like lust. so what is based on her "love" is mystery, lust, and danger. but her real drive seems to be only his looks which is sad...i mean they started talking more and more at the end of the book but i really don't see a true connection all i see is people getting to know each in the world can you say love when you don't truly know each other yet?

Then we move onto his love.....i get him the most because i see alot of him in me in the sense of what i'll do for love....i have done alot of the stuff he has a certain extent because when i do find someone i love i'll be by there side no matter what. but where he drops the ball is he is selfish which says he doesn't really love her. again he would be nowhere near this girl if he truly loved her. I don't know how many women who i cared about very much let slip through my hands because frankly it was better for them. because i care for them so much i care more about there happiness then my his love is flawed if it's even true love but i think it's more true then hers is.

but as far as the book is concerned i liked it enough that i'll continue the series...i just tend to look at things a little different then people......for example the princess diaries movies (not sure if there books) granted i completely understand what she must have been going thru. but that is the law of the land and thats how it works. so there teaching 2 things to little girls. A: it's okay to break the law. B: it's fine if you cheat. now most people would just tell me to shut up and relax but i know how the mind works alot more then i'd prolly like to and thats exactly whats going on....just like with this book. no wonder why people are having a hard time finding love when people are brainwashed into thinking that your supposed to live this fantasy life with the most perfect guy you have ever come i know some women will say well what about men and there idea of a women...big tits and an ass and 105 lbs type of stuff.....well frankly like me and i know most guys that stuff is a bonus if they have some of that shit yay if not oh well. most guys just have to be somewhat physically attracted and thats all they need as far as if i guy can say a girl is cute thats all he needs then the part that truly matters is the connection.....i don't know how many people in life will deal with the fact that there is nothing there just so they can be with someone who is perfectly physically satisfying to them...even if they just down right hate there personality.

anyway i'm done my ranting because i just hate the way we are getting brainwashed into thinking the idea of what "love" is supposed to be.

huh very interesting  

Posted by Darkmaer

So just browsing around and bored i came across something interesting on wikipedia. One of my favorite ex porn stars grew up in NC which i knew that but didn't know exactly where well it appears to be in Greensboro where i live and according to the wikipedia site since she is no longer doing porn she is apparently doing call girl services here in greensboro......huh wouldn't that be a nice birthday present. lol sadly i think i'd just want to talk to her and be her friend more then anything since she does seem pretty cool. Or it would be cool to bump into either way pretty nifty....okay done with this post i just thought it was pretty cool.