Life is good  

Posted by Darkmaer

So my life is just great right now. I just got my first pay check from my first job and its funny I make in 1 week at the new job as much as 2 weeks at hot topic.

Also my car stopped smoking as soon as I got my oil changed so I won't have to spend $800 on that.

But I found out my phone doesn't like moister. So I will have to get a new phone or at least replace the track ball because the track ball button keeps randomly pressing it self…sending off emails, chats, muting my calls. Its fucking annoying. So soon as I can find my charger for my old phone the SIM card is going in there till I get it working or get a new one.

But I picked up blue dragon finally. And pre-purchased grand theft auto 4 so ill be picking that up tuesday…lol I'm going back to the way I was before I even thought of having a relationship. Its a good feeling…screw women ill play my games and enjoy life
Darkmaer Bloodmoon )O(
In Love and Light
>Sent via my BlackBerry

Errata Indeed  

Posted by Darkmaer

The Curse of Faith  

Posted by Darkmaer

The curse of faith

Love songs  

Posted by Darkmaer

So I'm sitting here in my car on my 15min break (granted ill be finishing this next break) but anyway I'm listening to my guilty pleasure right now (a kiss could be deadly) and got to thinking. How freaked out I'd be if someone actually wrote me a love song…maybe its because all the women that find me attractive "in that way" are all twice the size of me. Of course everyone thinks I'm low because I won't give any big women a chance. Well I've learned in life (tho not always) you can tell a lot from a person just from there weight. Ill be the first to admit am I completely happy and confident with myself? No not really. Having every women I'm attracted to reject me or play with my emotions or just plain rip out my heart doesn't help very much either. But anyway I've been doing good with not worrying about a relationship so I'm going to stop there. But someones weight says they arnt happy with who they are and there life. I think it has very little to do with what you eat…i think that only takes effect if your opinion about yourself is crappy.

But anyway. Yeah I don't think I'd like anybody to write me a song.

Sooo I might have to dump over a grand in my car now all the sudden. There is white smoke coming out of my exhaust and I've been told that is prolly a head gasket problem…sadly its cheap to buy but the labour isn't so right there I'm looking at $800 and then still my clutch…another $400…but I'm going to try to think positive about this and maybe its not the head gasket. And so far it hasn't caused me too much problems except for that one day. But no matter what I'm not taking my 1TB external hard drive back. I've worked long and hard for that…that will be a early birthday gift to me.

And other news is that I've gotten past that part in my game…pissed me off because there is 2 bosses and 1 mini boss right in a row. Luckily after the 2 mini bosses you get life and magic replenished but then in the mini boss it would freeze on me…so I took it back and got a replacement. This one is better. But so far the story is really great. That's one thing I like about final fantasy type games is the stories I just wish oblivion type games could make a story that good but there just 2 different type of games.

Anyway break is almost done so I'm going to end my blog here

Oh yeah I was very happy the other day I got to smack this one goth girls ass because she wanted me too…too bad she tries too hard AT EVERYTHING
Darkmaer Bloodmoon )O(
In Love and Light
>Sent via my BlackBerry

Best EP's I've come across  

Posted by Darkmaer in

I thought i'd do something a little interesting since i'm kinda bored and i'm stuck in my game.....err thats the only thing i hate about final fantasy based type RPG's....i am playing it for the story...i don't want a challenge and it pisses me off when i'm stuck in a spot for a few days because i can't get past a halts the story and i don't like that.

anyway onto my post...

So i thought of what are the best EP's i've come across as i was heading home from work this morning...sooo

NIN: Broken

there isn't one bad song on this entire album. It's one of Trents best work in my's just an onslaught of some decently heavy stuff and i don't think you can really go wrong with this's a must have in your collection in my opinion

AFI: All Hallow's EP

when AFI was still punk but not too punk where i can't stand them (there is a time that i just can't stand there music because well it's too punk for me...aka sounds like shit. the production is so horrible i don't see how anybody can listen too it). But this is another one...every song is great. i know Halloween is a cover but i'm not sure if the other ones are or not...something kinda has me thinking maybe they are kinda like a misfits tribute. then again i could be wrong since i really don't know anything about the misfits and i really don't care since they suck. but anyway if you want some decent punk and like minute and a half songs this is a good album even tho i hated spending like $12 for a album with 4 songs and i can listen to it like 4 times within the time i go to work.

anyway these are my 2 favorites...if anyone would like to add to the fun put yours up on a comment and let people get ideas for what to pick up


Posted by Darkmaer

Testing out bloggers mobile feature
Darkmaer Bloodmoon )O(
In Love and Light
>Sent via my BlackBerry

sometimes i call our for you....and all i hear is the wind call back  

Posted by Darkmaer in , , ,

Damn what a week...this is my only day off and actually hottopic just called me (err txt me) to work tonight....i had to decline as much as i'd love to work i need more so my body needs rest...i'm on my feet actually working (not that stuff at hottopic we call "work") and my body still isn't quite used to it.....and working in converse is definately not the best idea either.

Ok so i got overtime already on starbucks job. 8 hours to be exact so that was roughly $15 an hour last night. sweet deal. Also my brother is writing me a check for $800 today haha new clutch and 1 terabyte harddrive here i i can download all the music and movies i want and not have to worry for prolly quite a few years.......even for a pirate like me.......then again it might go quicker i'm not sure since i'm always having to be cautous about what i'm downloading because of worrying about space all the time.

Anyway it was a great paycheck friday. $507 my biggest paycheck i got from hottopic (i can't wait till starbucks kicks in...i get paid weekly there and my friend said roughly $300 a paycheck (except i'm getting insurance too so i'm going to guessimate negetive $50) but still. $40 for gas, $100 for my brother and like $16 for insurance per week that will give me roughly $93 dollors to within a month i could have $372 which equals SWEET in my book. and thats not including hot topic which i'm going to guess i will prolly get like $60 from there at least......not great but hey it's more money in my pocket.

But anyway so what did i purchase this paycheck......well my dad lost $100 somewhere so i gave him $60 and he will pay me back this friday....i'll need it because i don't know if my direct deposit for starbucks will kick in just yet and since they mail you the paychecks i will prolly get it like monday......which sux. but anyway so i'm short $60. but i got 2 sets of plugs.....i'll have to post them sometime because the ones are freakin funny as hell.......there the blingiest earrings i've ever seen.....but what is nice is they got some weight to them so yeah i like that. they swing a little bit. and then the other pair are just tunnels with stars in them.....nothing really special but they get you at hot topic by saying there buy one get one half off......which means you almost half too.....and plus it was employee 50% off weekend granted it's only 10% off from normal discount it's still extra percentage. then what i got was a new game called Lost Odyssey.

Lost Odyssey is made by one of the orginal creators of final fantasy which means if you like those types of games it's a kick ass game.....if you don' suck. so far the story is really cool. the cut scenes are mind blowing. the characters are varied enough to keep you got the main character that is the typical girl falls in love with because he has no emontion he doesn't know tall dark and hansome...tho this guy looks more gay to me......but whatever...these are the stupid guys women like because they get to bitch about something to there friends.......wouldn't want a boyfriend that you can't bitch about. then there is the girl.....shes just a girl....serious when she needs to be and light hearted when she wants to be....then there is the guy that so far was sent to destroy these 2 far hes my favorite. hes the comedy of the game so far. when the group gets together he arrives drunk and with three chicks for his last goodbye for his journey and his pervertedness is always makeing you smile so far. There is also dreams in the game. because the main character for some reason lost his memory (he is immortal and has lived thousands of years) so each dream is a new awakening of well losses in his life......but at first i THOUGHT was sucky was it was all words you had to read these damn things.......and there not short.....but as i read them there quite powerfully written....and the backgrounds are kind of interactive.....there is sound and pictures done it's pretty cool......of course all the stories are sad so far......and granted being a vampire for example sounds like a cool idea.....but just the fact that you would have to see the ones you loved die wouldn't be fun at all......because you know how cursed you are you would never let that befall your loved of course you would reject the idea if they wanted you to make them a vampire as well.

but anyway GOOD game so far......and thankfully there is a game like final fantasy that is as good on xbox now........oh yeah and it's 4 freakin discs......the first game that i've seen on the xbox with more then one disc.....tho i heard blue dragon has 3 i think......but again by the same company. which i still want to pick that one up

anyway here is the trailer for the game......well one of them's going to take some time to get used to it  

Posted by Darkmaer

well I'm getting ready for my new job tonight. This is going to suck with having to be at work today at hottopic but i'm going to have to do it for tuesday as well so i might as well have to get used to it. So i made myself some Coffee for on the way there and then i got the free coffee and apparently juices and i hope tea as well there at my new job.

but yeah i'm pretty excited about getting back to writing my book. Though i don't know when i'm going to get a chance to sit down and start writing again...I guess i could on my breaks i just hate the fact that i would be writing it on paper and then having to type it back up on the pc here...something that annoyed me with what i did before since i lost my disk..but now i am doing my story on google docs which now it is with me where ever i go...i should still copy it into a word document and put it on my 4gig usb dongle thing...

err my brother called me and was close to the time i had to leave so i forgot all about that i was doing this and left the house for work without posting errr

a day that actually was pretty dang good  

Posted by Darkmaer

Very cool day today. I went with my brother and my father to the Lancaster airport because my brother is wanting to learn to fly. well they took us up and my brother got to fly to some extent so that was really cool since that was my first flying experience but over all i really don't know what the big deal is with people being afraid to fly.

anyway after that we went to Chili's then to target and now i'm back home relaxing and prolly going to take a power nap while i fall asleep to red vs blue.

and for your enjoyment i'm going to post 2 of my favorite scenes in the red vs blue series.

red vs blue church memorial

To be a man...  

Posted by Darkmaer in , , ,

This is one of those things that i always run through my mind quite a bit. I'm sure its the same for ladies but to a certain extent but because of the way men are brought up to the idea of what a "man" should be i don't think women know or grasp how hard it is for the guy as well.

Ok in the dating area women have to do one thing. look attractive that's it, if they choose to give it up then that's another thing they will have to do.

For men nowadays for dating here is what we have to do. because apparently women don't think just a relationship in general is a challenge (which it is it's a real challenge) us guys we have to somehow (and i'm still trying to figure this out...i'm very bad at balancing things) get you to notice us by way of looks, personality and everything else under the sun...then but because women like to play games it seems more then they do care about finding true love (because lets face it your companion should be your best next time your with your best guy friend...ask yourself will he be by my side no matter he always there for me now?). But for some reason to be with a women you are not allowed to be her it's this game of getting her attention and then disregarding her and making her feel like shes not all that.....which boggles the mind....why would you want to be with someone who doesn't treasure you? i can understand to a point...where is the fun if there is no hunt? but that's a false challenge. a real challenge is when your in the relationship. because everyone has differences everyone is stubborn in there own way about certain things...and the challenge with a relationship is learning to find that middle ground.

Now for the image of a "man" where does one find ideas of what something should be though out history.....books, movies, tv, music....everything that does what it supposed to do ENTERTAIN US. People need to realize what is reality and what is fantasy.

Here is what i have seen from this....and what makes the girls get all and what they need to realize is there lovely characters in there books and movies are fake....those actors 90% of them are prolly assholes. same with the band members. So what do have as far as a guy.....In the fantasy world (and guys do try to replicate it) your not to have emotion what so ever. if you are sad depressed anything....your supposed to take it out in anger or your supposed to compress it. your not allowed to show love until that one moment and your not supposed to talk or anything your just supposed to go right in for a kiss. the men that you see in movies and in books.......are fake not real. no human can be like that...and how can you truly have a meaningful relationship like that.....and thats the funny thing about movies....they never show you the long haul of that love affair....because in movies and in books to show real "love" it has to be shown by the most 2 painful things that you never would want to go through if you loved someone (to get the point across) either by death or by can look back as far as books have been written these are the 2 main things to get love across to always saddens me. i mean braveheart one of the best stories....both of the women he was executed the other he had a love affair is the structure to show passion of's sick in perverted if you ask me.

to be a man......I find that a man is tough to be even in realistic terms. My gods just ask all the mother in laws what they think about there daughters husbands (tho they seem to be cool if your rich...i'll leave that one alone before i start to boil) a man should be protecting, comforting, loveing, open, thoughtful, kind, gentle, firm, supportive....a man should be allowed to be open about his feelings without feeling discriminated (which is sad. i feel the more i talk about my feelings the more women find me unattractive because i show my weaknesses to them. which it doesn't mean i'm week in the slightest it MEANS I'M FUCKIN HUMAN not like these pre-scripted fake things that this world calls a "real man". when i show my weaknesses and my flaws i'm giving you a piece of me because i trust you with's a gift of trust...and it should be respected not looked down upon). a man should be able to support his family (something i haven't gotten too yet in my life....but ask my ex when the going gets tough i try my hardest..i will do everything in my power to support my gf/family and also make sure i'm also taking the time to try and make them feel special).

I think the reality is we have too high of expectations when it comes to love the women i like typically arent the hottest things on the meter but i enjoy there company and i know i can trust them with my thoughts...but being a guy it seems we have to be above and beyond anything a real man can be

Nothing but a G thang baby  

Posted by Darkmaer

So now with me getting this brand new job and thinking to myself what i would need and my brother giving me my car money (after clutch i'll have an extra $300) i have to sit down and think of things that i feel i would need soon. so first by far in my book is an external Harddrive. My computer has 4 harddrives in it and it just hits the 120 gig status. My harddrives are also to there max limit. i'm always having to take my 4 gig thumb drive and transfer my stuff down to my brothers computer just so i can burn the stuff on a dvd (my dvd burner stopped working). so thats my first little thing i feel i need to get. so thats going to roughly take out that $300 that i'm going to have extra for a car because i want to get a 1 terabyte external harddrive that way i never have to worry about it for awhile.

then my next thing is a big step but i do need one before it's too late. but i need a new computer. my computer is from 2002 i have picked this thing up before and thrown it to the ground......i need a new one. it's noisy as hell and occasionally the fans will spaz out. so i know i don't got to long before one day the thing is just going to overheat and burn out something on it from the CPU fan not working. So i think since i got a pretty damn good job now i think i'm going to save up for a macbook since FINALLY i'll get to own a mac.....then i can decide wether or not i like them or not...but something tells me i'll love it very much. my assumptions so far so that way i'm not too dissapointed is that the mac and windows computers crash and get errors equally (which i'm quite happy with xp's error problems i rarely get them...besides program errors. but thats the only thing i'm really concerned about because well with bootcamp now you can run windows in mac so it's not a big deal about computability issues. the only thing i know for sure is I HATE VISTA

oh yeah i'm pretty excited  

Posted by Darkmaer in

Rooster Teeth is making a new series under the Red vs Blue title

It's been awhile  

Posted by Darkmaer in , , , , , , , ,

well i saw my one friend on facebook changed her webpage status one a blogger and i realized i have neglected my blog on here....then again i havn't been blogging much at all lately..which i think is a good thing considering how open i am on tends i think to repel people from my life instead of gathering them closer to me.

so anyway life update.

I'm moving forward ALOT as of recent. i got a job at the starbucks distribution center (which i need to call them prolly tomorrow so find out whats going on with that...they said i should start on the 14th but they said they would call me back to confirm it as definate and so far i'm getting a little worried. but it's a done deal no matter i already took my drug test and all that good stuff.

Then i got a car about 2 weeks ago before i got the job......freedom finally. independance. the feeling of not having a car is like not being a whole not being able to provide for your's one of the worst feelings a man can ever feel.

SO with a car and a new job...that will bring me in enough money to actually start being able to enjoy my freedom i am pretty sure the next goal is to start studying.....or just take it right away and see how well i do at it......but GED is the next step. then College...sadly i have no clue what i want to i might just major in writing (i know that is not the propper title but who cares) and then minor in theology.....that way I can write my sexy fantasy books and then if i want to i have theology under my belt i can write about that as well. cause those 2 things are what i keep going back too.

anyway thats all i got for tonight