my experience with magick so far  

Posted by Darkmaer

Alright...I'm still up what a shock. Anyway i thought i'd share something with everyone tonight / this morning that i feel i can share with you now. 


My experience with magick since i've been down here.

first off i'm an amateur lets get that out of the way....i've been reading about this stuff for years and just recently i've tried a few things. experimented if you will.

my first attempt was sigil magick. well that is a very very simple type of magick anybody can do it i learned about this type of magick from a book that i always pick up at the book store but never buy...i want to get it someday. but it's Disinformation's Book of Lies..... there is a scottish man by the name of Grant Morrison (comic book artist of "The Invisibles" that at the very beginning of the book tells you about this magick because the purpose is well if you want to believe in magick or see it in action is to do it because magick isn't like hollywood has made it into. So i've looked at this book for about a year and then not too long ago i came across a Disinformation video on google video of him talking about the same thing. so i go online and find a tutorial on how to do this because well even though he says it i'm a visual learner and i also want to make sure i don't mess up....so i do it. it takes about 10 mins to do and your done no crazy crap like setting up candles and crap or an alter...you just do it piece of cake. so what was this thing that i tried to attain? well that very day i called up spencers because they were seriously thinking about hiring me...well i got rejected....my mom's bed bath and beyond the guy didn't like my tattoo's apparently and also tends to hire college girls (heh sounds like what i'd do too) so that was a bust....so i needed a job and thats exactly what i did this sigil magick "spell" (if you can even call it a spell) for. my mom came home late that night....forgot to tell me but that morning/afternoon she says call the winsten-salam bed bath and beyond my old GM now a store manager (demoted himself) said he will hire me.....you know what i called him up he said to come in and he hired me right on the spot without doing anything...i just needed to fill out another app for records....and you know what i didn't just ask for a just i asked for a prosperous job...and at $6.55 down here for min wage...i can't live off that....no worries even for being a lowly sales associate he gave me $9/hr. 
              again with magick you have to understand one thing.....alot of magick just seems like coincidence (i don't know how many books i've read that have said this) but after so many of these "coincidences" it starts to out weigh themselves....and the fact is this is how you prove to yourself if magick really works because mister joe shmoe that just keeps on saying prove it will never understand because it's truly a personal experience...granted when people see your life changing they might acknowledge it but the reality is most people prolly won't and just think your starting get a run of good luck or some crap.

ok now my second run in with magick....granted not as big as the job thing...but still none the less it proved it's point to me. my first full moon ritual was a ritual done from a enochian ritual and basically it was to promote happiness......first we call in the angels (that is what enochian magick is all about) and we had ahead of time wrote down stuff that you think would make you happy.......i had my list (still have it) and basically the guy running the ritual did a little phycology stuff with us....basically he went around the circle and took are paper that had what would make us happy on it...we were supposed to take it back.....sadly we didn't have to beat him up or anything but he just waved it in front of us and we had to take it out of his hand....the whole point of that was WE as people need to claim our happiness...nobody else but us can.
now a couple a days went by and i was kinda disappointed with the ritual because well it wasn't life changing as i was hoping it was going to be... well i was wrong. not even looking for anything of this nature i ran across a movie looking for other stuff called "living luminaries" and the whole video was obtaining true happiness and not just temporary happiness....like a special someone, money, car, house...these are all temp. happiness. but it shows you how to be truly happy throught out every day of your life. and even when i watched this i wasn't thinking anything special....but then the group i'm doing this stuff with has a yahoo group and the guy said thanks for coming on the group board......and then it hit me... I was supposed to see that video..... I NEEDED to see that movie.

again sounds alot like coincidence....but if you prayed to God the christian way and asked for something and he gave it to you...would you just throw it aside and call it coincidence....prolly not.

but just so you guys know that google just brought out another thing that is in beta called "Knols" and basically it's a knowledge base...kinda like a wiki but you choose to let who can edit it...but basically i'm going to be writing up a thing on sigils...what they are and how they work. and i'll be sure to post the link on this blog when i'm finished with it. so you can learn and try sigils on your own if you want.

anyway here is that Grant Morrison video on sigil's.


There will be a fork in the road  

Posted by Darkmaer

ok i've been doing some reading from "The Power Of Now" and so far he makes alot of sense. so me being who i am and wanting to know more with less reading i go on google and check out google video and do a search on the author. Now i know Opera has put alot of stock into this guy. as much as i hate Opera i feel she is doing alot of what people are doing in this world and that is searching for the correct answer for themselves. Her ideas are the same ideas that i have. Basically everyone has a way to god and it's different for everyone....well of course the christians will say thats not true...why? because the bible said jesus is the only way...how do they know...because god said so......IN THE BIBLE....can we grasp how this idea doesn't hold up. It keeps going around in a circle with no good foundation. yes i do believe that what the bible says is very powerful....but every other religion teaches the same principle teachings. so anyway so i've heard what these christians are saying and basically they so far from what i've read are blowing Eckhart's words way out of proportion...one thing is there saying hes talking about other dimentions.......which he is not. he is just telling us how to think differently at life...they think it's evil that hes telling people to quite there minds....you know and i'll tell ya right now. it's because my mind was always dwelling on the past that my life was horrible for the most part these last couple of years....now that i am learning how to quite my mind i havn't been this happy in quite  some time. how can these simple techniques be evil.


So we come into a fork from what i can see in my mind. 

  1. in i would say at the latest 2100 god will come and everything that was in the bible was true...whoops fucked up on that.
  2. That what everyone is talking about with this 2012 stuff and astrotheology are telling us is that were going into a new evolution an awakening so to speak...which would make sense that all these types of people are becoming pretty popular because there the ones that are opening up to this and getting ready for us to evolve.
heres the problem i have with churches. these people survive off people giving them money....tell people to come to church and learn about the wonderful person up in the sky and that will give them hope for all the pain and suffering that there enduring in this world. now if you have someone that is saying you can be happy all the time WITHOUT materialistic things (money, women, man, house, that new mp3 player etc etc) and you can have control of your life because you would have a inner connection with god....you'd be telling people this shit is evil to because guess what YOU'D BE OUT OF A JOB then you'd actually have to do real work in your life....FUCK THAT right? 

Through science we have found out that we are all connected.....to everything not just ourselves but to the world to space.....what makes you think we arn't connected to god too? what we have done is let these people manipulate us with thinking we need to go to a building every week (btw i think jesus even said something about fuck churches...your church is yourself it is your own personal relationship with god...but people have lost that) and god...the Catholics have this fucked up thing where you have no direct contact with god...you got to talk to a "father" so he can rely the message to god.....what the fuck is that? how about that is what i feel if anything were to arise they can use that info to blackmail you if they so choose....just like the scientology freaks do.

but i digress. it's something that won't matter because well faith is faith and nothing will ever change that because each generation of people will say God is coming in there generation...and everyday a generation dies and a new one is born getting taught the same thing.....and history repeats it self.

I must have some charm.  

Posted by Darkmaer

hmm i was just thinking tonight.....I must be doing something right cause it seems like all the ladies who i love/d are coming back into my life. I mean thats a huge ego booster....I know one is completely a friend thing and TRUST ME i wouldn't want it any other way. But I'm happy to say that the other one that just came back into my life there to me is potential....granted i'm now a couple hundred miles away from them (irony of life...or is it just life like to play funny jokes). But the one that just came back into my life I take it as a complete sign that no matter what i or her was not ready for a relationship...i think it was both. i wasn't ready and she wasn't ready my type of relationship...a serious one. So even though it's long distance and technically were still on a friends lvl she has said she regrets ever holding back. but i'm not going to look into it too much. I still have my journey to go on and so does she...but i've seen funny things happen in life. we may be good friend or more down the road who knows...but i haven't gotten along with a women in quite a while so even though some people still prolly say stay away...i hold that in high value. Plus i know she needs someone to be there for her. (the point i'm trying to make with this part...its nice to know that i'm forgivin and not hated by the people that i would have laid down my life for...and i'm still special to them that they want to continue some sort of relationship)


but anyway....these days are CRUISING....seems like everytime i think i'm going to start my day it's already 9 at night. But i'm not sure if i mentioned this in other blogs BUT my orientation is set for well i guess this week (it's technically sunday right now) Thursday at 1 to 5....i'm excited to start making some money and going further with my spiritual journey and what not.

sorry my life is a real bore so i'm going to have to end this blog I just thought i'd get some stuff off my mind real quick.


and hey if anybody that reads these have known me for a awhile....i know i don't have alot of contact with alot of people....but...i want to know if i seem like i'm growing and becoming a better man......or am i still stuck in a whole and haven't progressed.

I'm just here to waste your time  

Posted by Darkmaer

So i'm really really tired of these slow browsers....i mean don't get me wrong i love firefox...but the bad thing is they give me options...TOO many options. so i'm trading in my firefox i think for awhile for safari since well apple snuck that in with the itunes update anyway i might as well give it a shot...it has alot of nice build in features and it's quick and a big thing is there is no add ons for it so i can't get bogged down...sadly though the only thing i wish it did have is a google toolbar...but for right now i'll just have to deal without. it's will be a little of a hastle thats for sure considering i have all my bookmarks on google and not anywhere else really. but shit happens...i'll just be actually using google home page more often then i used too (which i have to say...for awhile there i forgot what it looked like) but it's cool. safari is quicker and less cramped so that makes for the most part a more enjoyable experience. anyway i really don't know why i'm typing this...i'm just bored as hell...i'll prolly in a few mins put in a family guy dvd and watch that as i fall asleep. 


but anyway life is looking pretty good down here. granted i've been pretty damn lonely down here but i'm happy so it hasn't really bothered me. It's going to be weird i haven't worked at a job where there is "normal" type people so this will be an adventure... who knows maybe i do start need to hang around some of the "normal" people since it seems the people i hang out with seem to have mental problems left and right. Whelp i'm done here....enjoy this crappy blog this morning.

Faults are beauties in a lovers eye.  

Posted by Darkmaer

The title is what i hold very true to my heart since well i seem to like women who that something about them that is different or strange but you can't quite put your finger on it...and i find that attractive...i tend to hate what the world considers "flawless"

but anyway the quote of the title had to do with eyes so that is also why i used it.....i want to make this a fun blog for me mostly kinda bored with the typical ones that i'm doing.....soooo

were going to talk and show you eyes so if you reading this from a feed to view to me these beautiful eyes please go to the source...my blogger.

well i have one weakness.....forget the body in all seriousness sure it's nice to look at but it doesn't matter how much you have a nice body you don't have control over me....infact if you just have a nice body like most guys the first thing i think about is....yeah shes fuckable...yeah yeah you can think what ever you want but that is the basic deciding factor for a guy of whether he wants to go out with you...i mean all in all in my mind there is a goal...meet someone who you find is attractive (aka fuckable in the eyes of a guy) then get to know if the personality is there to make it worth the shot to go and date them...then after so many years or whatever marry them. thats the whole idea of finding a mate correct.....finding that person who you are attracted to and become the best friends because there is nothing better then someone who loves you out of choice who will be there forever for you (in theory...)

but anyway i got off subject (i do that alot) my one weakness is eyes...not light eyes.....green, blue.....come on (though i'm not going to say that a redhead with a pair of bright green eyes aint delicious) but my weakness is the dark ones...the ones that when you look at some of them it's just seems like a black hole...it makes it so you can't look away like there is just sooo much mystery....and at the same time it makes me want to look away because i feel that they have total control over me.....so sit back and enjoy someone of the best eyes i just grabbed real quick off the Internet...and yeah if you know me you know where i found most of these.....also there is one actress that has some beautiful eyes but her pictures suck on the Internet...i guess because shes not all that well known she hasn't gotten a whole lot of close ups yeah...but all her pics seem to be when she is on the runway...meaning...CAKE THE MAKE UP ON!!! which I HATE...i like her in the movies because even though i know she has make up on and prolly alot but due to the lighting it makes her have this natural cute and her eyes just seem to beam but that would be Emmanuelle Chriqui. but anyway on to the pics....enjoy...maybe...lol i really don't care if you do or not.



Umm This girl below Likes the wheel of time Series so that makes her that much more hotter



The girl below there not super dark but there still dark and captivating





again not super dark....but captivating





and Nikkie Rhodes is another one of my favorites cause she has dark eyes and is a natural redhead (lol look her up you'll see) but yeah i couldn't get any nice pictures of her eyes without anything in her mouth......so....uh....sorry