but anyway life is looking pretty good down here. granted i've been pretty damn lonely down here but i'm happy so it hasn't really bothered me. It's going to be weird i haven't worked at a job where there is "normal" type people so this will be an adventure... who knows maybe i do start need to hang around some of the "normal" people since it seems the people i hang out with seem to have mental problems left and right. Whelp i'm done here....enjoy this crappy blog this morning.

The title is what i hold very true to my heart since well i seem to like women who that something about them that is different or strange but you can't quite put your finger on it...and i find that attractive...i tend to hate what the world considers "flawless"

but anyway the quote of the title had to do with eyes so that is also why i used it.....i want to make this a fun blog for me mostly kinda bored with the typical ones that i'm doing.....soooo

were going to talk and show you eyes so if you reading this from a feed to view to me these beautiful eyes please go to the source...my blogger.

well i have one weakness.....forget the body in all seriousness sure it's nice to look at but it doesn't matter how much you have a nice body you don't have control over me....infact if you just have a nice body like most guys the first thing i think about is....yeah shes fuckable...yeah yeah you can think what ever you want but that is the basic deciding factor for a guy of whether he wants to go out with you...i mean all in all in my mind there is a goal...meet someone who you find is attractive (aka fuckable in the eyes of a guy) then get to know if the personality is there to make it worth the shot to go and date them...then after so many years or whatever marry them. thats the whole idea of finding a mate correct.....finding that person who you are attracted to and become the best friends because there is nothing better then someone who loves you out of choice who will be there forever for you (in theory...)

but anyway i got off subject (i do that alot) my one weakness is eyes...not light eyes.....green, blue.....come on (though i'm not going to say that a redhead with a pair of bright green eyes aint delicious) but my weakness is the dark ones...the ones that when you look at some of them it's just seems like a black hole...it makes it so you can't look away like there is just sooo much mystery....and at the same time it makes me want to look away because i feel that they have total control over me.....so sit back and enjoy someone of the best eyes i just grabbed real quick off the Internet...and yeah if you know me you know where i found most of these.....also there is one actress that has some beautiful eyes but her pictures suck on the Internet...i guess because shes not all that well known she hasn't gotten a whole lot of close ups yeah...but all her pics seem to be when she is on the runway...meaning...CAKE THE MAKE UP ON!!! which I HATE...i like her in the movies because even though i know she has make up on and prolly alot but due to the lighting it makes her have this natural cute and her eyes just seem to beam but that would be Emmanuelle Chriqui. but anyway on to the pics....enjoy...maybe...lol i really don't care if you do or not.



Umm This girl below Likes the wheel of time Series so that makes her that much more hotter



The girl below there not super dark but there still dark and captivating





again not super dark....but captivating





and Nikkie Rhodes is another one of my favorites cause she has dark eyes and is a natural redhead (lol look her up you'll see) but yeah i couldn't get any nice pictures of her eyes without anything in her mouth......so....uh....sorry

So I've gotten a little behind with my blogs/journals because so much has actually been going on...i useually write them at night and that just isn't working anymore. umm first thing is first......I didn't get the job at spencers apparently they didn't even wait to get the background check back...so my guess is they eventually seen somebody that they liked better...and personally i'm happy about it...i mean it sux i don't have a job right now but i'm happy because i've grown alot and stupid shit like that doesn't matter to me...i wouldn't have fit in because well the place just oozes imature and granted i can be imature at times for the most part which is why i can't have friends really my age is because i try to get a conversation going and what do i get is a bunch of dumb people who can't keep there mind focused on what i'm saying because they always have to blurt out something funny just so they can be the center of attention...which is why i hate group atmospheres because thats all it is is just on big pissing contest. but anyway what i'm going to say is i'm going to be a little bit selective about what i put on here because now i'm really starting to feel it with the spencers thing...granted not getting that job might have been for my highest good...i just feel somebody has interrupted that energy that i sent out by telling you all. Yes that can happen even if it's the most friendliest of friends unless they know how to control there energy and thoughts...alot comes from the subconscious. But anyway enough of that.

Umm anyway yesterday i went to the first Triad CUUPS meeting...yeah it was a meeting more then anything else. but it was nice cause i got to meet some people in the pagan comunity so far 2 people were the nicest one girl and a guy...can't remember the girls name but the guys name is Kenny...thats pretty easy to remember since it's my brothers name to begin with. but he was one of the most talkitive people...but yeah so it looks like i might have my first 2 friends...but this group is really cool i can't wait to be part of it. so far there talking about going to PPD (pagan pride day) and setting up an info table and they need volenteers so I would like to help in that....so there is another thing i can help in this comuniity also they want next year they were going to do it this year but then the one girl that was going to go had to back out cause she is closing the deal on a house and will be moving in that weekend....but apparently there is a big pagan thing in VA every year with workshops and a whole bunch of stuff...so next year if i get my pagan knowledge up and know how to do stuff instead of just like...wonder around like a bat in the dark....i mean i can read about it all i want but doing it is another thing...there is reason why they call it a craft, or practice...but yeah i'd like to be one of people to go next year...granted that means i need to become a member of the group which i think it's $12 a month which aint too bad but that $12 a month from everyone then goes to pay for trips and stuff like that for people or setting up tables at events and what not.

which brings me to my next part which i'm super super excited about but this Friday is going to be a full moon and I'm going to be going to my first full moon ritual...I'M SOOOO EXCITED not only because it will be my first time but so far everyone even people that come there the first time are saying that these things are very powerful and "stuff" always happens....they said last time as they were banishing the towers everyone saw a huge pentagram at the end of the ceremony materialize above them...but yeah the cool thing is not just the fact that there extremely powerful but each full moon ritual they have an individual person setup the ritual and if you have any knowledge you know pagan is a umbrella term...like like christian is...so you have all these different people with different pagan beliefs doing different rituals every month...I'm sad i missed Kenny's last month because he is does native American stuff...that would have been really cool....but i know i'm not going to be disappointed because my first ritual is going to be Enochian magick...so as we call the corners what were going to be doing is summoning angelic forces....sadly the guy asked what they would like to see in the ritual and Kenny had mentioned he would like people to where ceremony clothing...but sadly i don't have anything too cool...i'd totally where my pirate outfit but i still don't got the sexy leather pants yet...and my kilt....well isn't a real kilt and i think in that atmosphere if it's not a good one or at least a "toned" down one i shouldn't where it...since it is made by tripp meaning.....SHIT everywhere on the damn thing...so it looks like when i get a job i'm going to be getting the materials together and TRY to make some sort of rope of some sort....along with getting my alter...which is at a place called World Market...for almost $200...i'm debating if i should really just go to home depot and make one that would be perfect for me.....but you know i just really want it to look beautiful and if do something stupid like wood burn or TRY to carve something into it i know it will be really shitty looking you know...i want whatever i have to look as elegant as my future books of shadows.

but speaking of alter and what not...i went to a new newage shop i found on witchvox in my local area....and apparently my mom was in this one once but forgot about it.....I have no clue what so ever how my mom forgot about this one...granted it's not very good as in the book area but for everything else...alters alter supplies this is the king of new age shops...at least what I've seen...well the one in TN was pretty nice too...though i can't remember very well about that one....but anyway i felt compelled to buy something and since they had everything the one thing i was looking for...well since back in PA new visions seemed to have them for awhile but then they seemed to disappear and i didn't see them again but i saw a nice little cauldron which iron cauldrons aren't very cheap at all you know the typical ones that they show in cartoons and what not...i don't even know how much one of those would cost if they actually made them typically that big...my guess would be $500 and I'm low balling that prolly. but this one was a good price since i went on an online shop just recently and saw it for like $30 but this one was $17 for the same size about 4 inches high and 6inches across...perfect for an alter and not too big not too small. but yeah my alter supplies are almost complete....just need a few more things...then the alter then i can focus on getting supplies for spells and what not......mind you anybody who knows about magick knows that if you can do it more power to ya but technically you don't need anything to do magick....but for your average person...they need these types of things in order to get the mind in the proper mood....though potions you actually need the herbs and stuff....by the way potions are not like in harry potter or anything....it's just medicine...and if you do some research everything that has advanced our life and knowledge has came from these pagan cultures back in the the day

Alchemy = Chemistry

Astrology = Astronomy

Apothecary = Medicine

We are now seeing that what some would call magick is now what science is calling Quantum physics....now i'm not saying it's exactly...but i think Quantum physics is the foundation of why magick works.

anyway i'm done for this blog.

Well pretty good day today...last night was amazing too...

So what did i do i woke up had myself an egg sandwich with the family....yup that's right it's a offical my mom is now remarried. then after i moved the grass, then after that that they watched "martian child" i said thats alright and played more xbox. when they were done watching that my mom finally gave me a reflexology and Reiki she said she will have to actually wait and see but she said i didn't have bairly any blockages...but why she said wait is because apparently because i hold stuff in (physically don't talk to people about my problems all that much...i useually write them) my feet are callassed and on the bottom they are a different shade because there so "tight" so she said after a few sessions will loosen them up and see if we don't find anymore blockages...but it was a pretty nice and relaxing time...though it was kind funny at times...also apparently when she reaches tender or painful spots...in your feet those are the blockages...cause i thought she was digging her nails into at certain spots but apprently not...which was mainly on top of my big toe and apparently that is a mental blockage problem....so interesting...i'm definately going to become certified just for the knowledge if anything...and down the road if i feel that it truly is my calling then i'll join my moms practice most likely.

After that she did Daniel (my moms new husband) and i don't think she did the hands at all with him...just the feet...he actually fell asleep...i don't think i could call asleep even if i wanted too. Once done with him they ordered pizza and we had french fries with it too. when eating we watched a film called "wings of desire" it was a 80's German film based on an angel that wanted to "live" it was a unque movie because for the most part it was all inner mono-log becasue the angel couldn't directly contact them but they could hear everyones thoughts...so it was alot of that....pretty cool...though slow...anyway he eventually became human...in the sense of disiring a women so much that he became a "fallen angel".

and now here i am tonight writeing my blog.

NOW about last night. I had a major break through. I'm not sure why i had such a break through maybe it's because i was determined to do it so badly. So I put on my Christopher Penczak guided meditiation cd...since the music in the break ground has been the only thing that has really put me into a deep state...then again it could be the guiding as well. but anyway, In the middle i decided to ignore his voice and try something different on my own accord. I was listening to a podcast about astro travel and how to go about doing it...well i tried it (oh yeah by the way i put that chevron amethyst that i bought on my forehead...i was laying down too). What they said to do was imagine a rope or vine above your head and picture yourself or your soul trying to climb up the rope (since i'm also working on visualing and i can't keep a visual in my head too long they also meantioned visualize yourself running in a dark tunnel with light at the other end...so i interchanged as i would lose visualization on one). Then it happened...now this happend (the feeling anyway not the exsperence) to me the first time i tried meditating and it too was laying down...but anyway all my whole body started tingling...if you ever passed yourself out by blocking blood going to your brain it felt kinda like that. then the visuals started coming.
I saw an eye (this part is a little fuzzy to me) but it was moving
and it looked like what i'd say a spider body with an eye on top of the
body...i kinda sensed fear (then again this was my first time doing
anything of this nature) but some how i knew i was safe...then all the
sudden an angel (well it looked like an angel to me...very typical)
picked me up away from this spider/eye thing though it wasn't
like in first person....kinda how i thought it would be. i knew he had
a hold of me but my perspective was above him (the angel). then he
dropped me and i came back out of my mediation...kind of forced...like
the drop knocked my concentration.

Now before this i got to the whole body sleeping feeling....but i couldn't concentrate because all the sudden my eye lids were flicking like crazy...like i had to try very hard to keep them shut...and eventually it over took me and i had to start over again.....they still flickered as i was doing this but when i started seeing the big eye...nothing was going to make me open my eyes then.

So this experience is what i needed to move forward...to know and not be afraid...religion and growing up a christian has put a big hold on my moving forward with my life that i feel is the right path for me.

So anyway i'm going to try and do a light mediatative state tonight...because even though I had that experience...i know i can do it and it's real but i think that is way (well not too far ahead) of what i should be attempting without learning how to protect myself...plus if i'm going to have a better experience i need to be able to learn to concentrate and visualize better.

then tomorrow i am going to church and then later to my meditation group.


anyway Blessings all

ERRR so i went to spencers and basically my background check still has not came back. but since the assistant manager did the interview i guess the store manager wanted to just chat with me for a little while and get a feel for me....hopfully she likes me...but anyway that kinda was dissappointing i was hopeing to just get in there and have a good ol time. and yay yay but then to have it be well yeah...but i'm going to keep my head up and possitive. but anyway i played a little...well actually i spent a few hours playing assassins creed....it's such a sexy game. repetitive yes but still a fun game.

umm today was a fun relaxing day though. after coming home and playing my game my mom came home from work and we went out for a little bit...went to the rock shop and some dollar stores and i picked up a frame finally for my Reiki Certificate...I wish i could have completed it all the way...but everything happens for a reason right?...maybe that will give me reason to come back up to PA more often to finish my classes at least....not saying friendship isn't important...but i really would like to finish my classes.

Then we went to the rock shop and i picked up about $19 worth of rocks and stuff...i picked up Septarian, Chevron Amethyst (that is the one i needed for my 3rd eye), red jasper, Iolite, and i picked up a pendulum for spirit work...i'm excited about that and although it has a chain with it i'm going to make one special just for it....you know personalize it. but for $7.50 for a pendulum aint bad at all...they had real stones but i don't think this one is real....but it was just so pretty...maybe later i'll replace the point but right now i'm just concerned about replacing the chain. because i think you can make it alot more geared towards what you want then the actual point....but hey it don't matter everything will work for what it's meant for. but anyway check out my collection...it's growing pretty nicely.

The really funny part is my mom actually pointed out the pendulum for me...which really shocked me to be honest....it's wierd I also had bought a book called Spirit Allies by my favorite pagan author Christopher Penczak and she was curious about that too....i'm not sure if she is interested as far as wanting to know her "guardian angel" or if she is more curius about her mom...either way it's nice that she is interested to go outside the norm of christian ways a little bit.

But anyway so far the most pain in the ass part about having this rock collection is keeping it nailed down.....so far i still don't know some of my older ones i bought lol...so yeah now i need to try and remember what is what...i'm starting to take pictures of them at the stores ahead of time so i know what is what...and in my crystal bible i'm highlighting the ones i have...though i've already messed up the one because it was spelled alike...so now i have to go get that one just because i highlighted it lol.

but yeah i think spiritually down here is going to be much better...i feel in my element compared to up in york...york has just such a bad vibration there...i can just feel the negetive energy weigh you down. AND SPEAKING OF YORK...i should have gotten my paycheck from hottopic but i havn't seen anything in my account.....i worked up till the last day...well sunday...i should have recieved a deposit in my account...which is ticking me off.

But anyway even though i miss some friends up north...this is a really good place right now in my life...i just need that job to come through and i'll be a very content boy. Spiritually i just feel that i'm there I'm complete to a certain exent...i know i need to go further. but i'm at piece right now. i don't feel demons are plagueing me anymore

I can't think of what to write. I can't think of what to write. I can't think of what to write. I can't think of what to write. I can't think of what to write. I can't think of what to write. I can't think of what to write. I can't think of what to write. I can't think of what to write. I can't think of what to write. I can't think of what to write. I can't think of what to Write.

Oh yeah tomarrow my mom is actually going to perform some reflexology on me..so i'll have to let everyone know how that goes...and because she is a Reiki 2 as well then she will also be doing that as well becasue Reiki is an automatic thing...if i need the healing it comes to me naturally.....and hopefully will clear some blockages up on me...cause i know i need it....but yeah anyway i'll give you guys an update on that then tomarrow night.

I think i'm going to Meditate.....cause i really do need to get into a habit of doing it each night....and if i have time...since my meditating takes about a half an hour and it's already 11:15 i'll put some stuff down in my book. I also want to get starting my Book of Shadows...and i think i know what i need to do...i need to get one of those leather journals...but first find a 3ring binder that can roughly fit into one of those and make my book of shadows becasue thats something i really would like to do....the company that made my journal does have 3 ring binders for like $140 or something like that but i have to choose black because the way he makes them the back is black so it kinda sux like that.....so i need to pick something that looks good on black....and i'd love to have the one i have in a 3 ring binder but that covers the whole thing front and back...and because of that the 3 ring binder the world tree would be cut in half because nothing is allowed on the back.....so yeah kinda sucky...but it is the only leather bound 3 ring binder i've come across that looks worthy to be a book of shadows....lol then again i do know there is this one company that makes them really really beautiful like something you'd see out of a fantasy book....but alas i'm going to be paying a couple grand for one...i'll see if i can't find one and post a picture up on here. Actually this one is on sale for only $399.00 so wow...that might actually be tempting to do in the long run...hehe i might be saving up for this bad boy...anyway you can find these books at Brahm's Bookworks...check them out...i'm going to email them and ask about getting my book binded by them for my own personalness.

anyway i think i'm done for tonight