Well another night another Journal Log. Well i kind of did a quick little check on my finances and decided i needed to celebrate getting a job sooo what I did was today i technically got up around 3 in the afternoon. and went on out to the new age shop to get my Amethyst well I got looking around and decided to get a few things i got 3 stones...well 2 stones and some wood that is now a stone...me personally i can't call that a stone no matter what. and then i saw in the glass case these beautiful necklaces made out of porcelain by a company Called "Touchstone Pottery" well i saw one that was a donut shape with a flat back with some Celtic knot work which represents spiritual growth...something i'm always working on so i thought it fitted perfectly for me so i got it. So my first piece of jewelry that is special to me....i'd still like a piece of jewelry from someone that means alot to me...you know to make that piece of jewelry even 10x more special to me....but that doesn't look like that is going to happen for quite some time. but i also picked up a Coexist bumper sticker for my car. but anyway (and this is mainly to take up space to try to make it 3 pages mind you) i'm going to tell you what stones i got and there meanings.

Amethyst: Is known as a stone of spirituality and contentment. Helpful in entering and maintaining meditative state. Helps business affairs prosper. Can be used to protect against psychic attacks. It can support sobriety.

Petrified Wood: Allows for access to past lives via meditation with the stone. A stone of transformation, assisting one to advance to one's highest chosen level. Shows that all actions lead to ultimate purpose.


Green Calcite: A mental healer, dissolving rigid beliefs and old programs. Helps in letting go of what is familiar but which no longer serves. Aids communication. Powerful stimulator for the immune system. Absorbs negativity and rids the body of bacterial infection.

Oh and for the people that kind of laugh this stuff off......do your research. everything vibrates such like our bodies are vibrating...certain vibrations do certain things to the body. just like how certain flashes of light along with the flicker of a TV can give some people seizures. People underestimate the mind and body.....i've always have said and thought that there is a cure for everything in nature whether it be plants or even stones......now i'm not so sure about these government made illnesses.....such as AIDS and Cancer but for the typical illnesses i feel that still holds true.

after that i went back to Earthfare because i forgot butter the other day and i picked that up and along with that tea thing i talked about but anyway apparently you can drink any tea like this but apparently this is how they drink it down in south America. but anyway the Tea that is supposed to be drank out of this is called "Yerba Mate" and basically all it is is a hallowed out gourd and you fill that gourd up with tea leaves 2/3rds full...then you tilt it and make space on one side for water (cold water)...you put enough in but not too much that it covers the top of the tea. you let it settle and sink into the tea.....to clump it together then once it's soaked up you stick the metal straw in......which is covered on the end with vents so not to get the leaves (though when you first start you do get some in...but it's ok) then you take hot water (about 150 degrees F) and now you got your tea and you drink it.....now it can be a single drink or a group thing....which i like that version better....when you first drink it it's pretty strong but once you keep on drinking it gets more mellow. but anyway it's just a little gourd but the cool thing is because there is so much tea in it you can keep filling it up and still drink and drink...which is why it would be a good campfire thing (ditch the pot and have some tea....why would you really want friends that you had to be high around to have fun) but anyway it says one preperation should last through several quarts of hot water...so thats pretty cool...now they say you can put honey in it too....which does sound like it would make it better but I don't know how i would really do that as of right now....i mean i guess you could put it right into the gourd but honey for me unless i try to stir it up just goes down to the bottom.....so my sugestion would be to get yourself a container that holds the hot water (that way you can fill it up over and over on the go) and put the honey in there so you can shake it up and what not.....just a thought. but anyway i really like the idea. also the reason why they really promote this tea "Yerba Mate" is because apparently it's got the power of coffee with much less caffeine so no jitters and you get the energy and apparently you can go right to sleep too when you want to compared to coffee....also it's got antioxidants which rival tomato and spinach...i wish they had a little graph for green tea but apparently good or better then green tea. but yeah this little kit came with a cd-rom with a little interduction to the company and the tea and it came with the gourd and the straw (which is special just for this way of drinking) and it also came with 6oz of yerba mate which after my first prep of tea i know that 6oz is going to last me for quite some time.

anyway check out the site if your interested Nativa

After that i went to the used book store again...i got to stop that...but when you can get a brand spanking new book that doesn't even look used to at the most i've seen (well the stuff i like) for $13 compared to the $30 retail price....hells yes i'm going to take advantage of that. So today i went and picked up one of my potter books that i had gotten rid of because i was strapped for money at the time...but that one was the "half blood prince"...you know the green looking one. doesn't looked touched....$10 booya.

Then out of curiosity because again i don't know anything about this religion (well much anyway) i decided to pick up the book to eventually read.....MIND YOU have no worries i'm not going to go down this path because i think it's an utter joke to begin with and i have to laugh at anybody who is involved with the religion.......but i picked up the book called "Scientology: The fundementals of thought (the basic book of the theory & practice of scientology for beginners)" and it is by the creator of Scientology the science fiction writer (yeah you know that crappy movie battlefield earth....thats one of his books) L. Ron Hubbard. but i got to say without a doubt they put together a nice book.....granted every cover looks like it should be on a cheesy psychic commercial.....but the book it self is really nice..you take the cover off and it's got a nice little picture on the book it's self and it's a nice green hard bound book...and on top of that it's got a nice little feature that i actually wished every book would have...it just makes things easier and nicer but it's got 2 finger "notches" of where the appendix, and glossary and from what i had seen all the books that he writes on Scientology...so i got to give them props there. but ANY and i repeat ANY religion that requires thousands of dollors to apparently to get started on (i mean sheesh why make books about the whole religion if it requires you to put thousands of dollors in...just make the info private until you give them the money then you get the books......UNLESS and i don't think that is how it is...that you can do this religion BUT if you actually want to be apart of the "church" you need to put forth the money...that would make sense since that seems to be the way alot of religions are...you know the dishonest money grubbing religions) and a relgion that in order to be apart of you have to HOOK UP A STUPID MACHINE that doesn't do a damn thing (except maybe it's a lie dectector) and your supposed to tell them every little secret to the church that you might have that you might not want to reviel to anyone......basically so later they can blackmail you if you start talking bad about the church.....and of course there are talks about murders by the church for people that talk TOO much. but anyway.....just wondering what they believe really......so don't worry people...i'm not a dumb person. but yeah so far the book seems very childlike....you know like those little pamlits(sp?) that christians drop off at different places with the stupid comics on them.....yeah it kind of reminds me of that when i flip through it and see some of the pictures they have.

Well tonight i was supposed to pick up my mom and well guess what.....flight was delayed till tomorrow....so right now there in Michican staying at a Motel.....so i'll pick them up tomarrow afternoon. anyway i think i'm done this blog for tonight.......and i'll leave you with a funny Scientology thing since i was talking about it.

Well end of the night I'm getting tired time to write my blog. today was a pretty good day except for the fact that the new age shop was closed monday. but oh well. i wanted to get an amethyst and try a laying meditation...at least until i can create some sort of crown thing....i have an idea of how it would look but it's just making it. the reason being is amethyst is supposed to help open up the third eye. and i'm wanting it to open so bad...even though i know i should just let it happen naturally but again i think that is my #1 thing i'm supposed to learn in this life is patience. but anyway before that i woke up at about 8 got into the shower got dressed and went for my interview with spencers. well they had me fill out some paper work after i gave them there little interview and there are now in the process of doing a background check. so i guess that means i got the job......now for the kinda cool part it's SALES SUPERVISOR so that means i'm only 2 positions from store manager...granted i personally don't ever see myself being a store manager for anything because well...i'm just too laid back. but the good news is the fact that this is now something i can officially put on my resume thats actually REAL manager position...i mean keyholder was technically but the fact that it is a title such as keyholder it almost seemed laughable and i think thats what most people seen it as. but now it's official that i actually am in a manager position. then i went to subway grabbed a sub not really thinking that i wasn't going straight back to my house...so i thought about something real quick headed over to hot topic because i saw it when i went in before but thought i'd ask thinking the answer would be no anyway....but they had a WITHIN TEMPTATION shirt and of course no larges....but i asked anyway if the shirt in the plexi was a shirt...i hate doing that because i know how much i hated it but low and behold it was worth it....it was a LARGE...my lucky day so far. considering nobody i personally know when i mention them knows who they are..granted you couldn't get there albums for awhile here but now there signed to roadrunner.....err there is just something about when someone gets signed to a big label that shit starts to fuck up for them...there poppy something is wrong with that album....it's lost it's enchanting quality that i loved about there music (BTW there needs to be something done about the genre that this type of music is in...it's tied in with alt metal...sure there is some songs that have a little electric guitar but by no means is it METAL whats so ever).

Anyway after that i went to my new bank (errr) bank of America i know fucking large banks. but i wanted something with mobile access and it was either that or wachovia or however the fuck you spell that.....and i had an account with them...not sure what happened to it whether my ex screwed me over in that department (we moved apart it was a join account...in order for her to be off the account she had to be present even though it was my account to begin with....whatever...but we broke up and never got around to doing it so i let her "have the account" even though my name was still on it so hopefully everything went well in that department) but i didn't want that indian bank company (i'm assuming it sounds like an indian name). so bank of America it was...so it is nice that i can paybills look at my balance without having to be home or calling a # and inputing 50 different options just to do something....just get on there WAP site log in and bam there is my balance of my checking and savings and i can transfer funds and pay bills and i think a few other things too as well...so yeah pretty handy. but yeah i went there because when i first got here i knew i needed an account so i went there and started an account well bank of America are a bunch of fucks and think it's normal to NOT have free checking...so i have to do certain things in order not to have a $6 fee every month....well i go on there website and find out that if i open an account ONLINE like it's some big fuckin deal of whether i do it online or at an actual bank really matters....i get free checking....because before i had to at least have a direct deposit going into my checking account (i just fucking moved here with no job...thats not going to be happening most likely) or you have to maintain $1000 balance.....yeah thats not happening either....well yet anyway...same with savings...i need to put a certain amount in that too to not pay a fee...but this could be any means it doesn't have to be direct deposit...but i'm not complaining about that it will force me to put money into it and save.....but they also got another program with there check card which is nice as well called keep the change.....basically it makes life a little easier (at least for me) and it helps me save money...basically for example if i pay $6.35 for a cup of coffee when i use my card $7.00 is taking out of my checking...so it rounds it up to the nearest dollor..and what happens is it makes it nicer for you to balance your checkbook since it's a flat rate and no change.....then what happens is the $0.65 gets put into your savings....it doesn't sound like much but you do a few purchases in a day you might be looking at a few dollars in your savings.....it's kind of nice....lol unless your poor as fuck but i don't see myself being like that again...i feel like i have some control in my life.

after that i went the the HUGE used book,cd,and movie store. and found hard bound versions of the Celestine Prophecy so i picked up 2 of those. one for myself and one for my friend Jess since she was the one who introduced me to the movie, and i know she is a huge lover of it and she doesn't have the book (obviously) and then there was the sequel to the book called "the tenth insight" which i picked up that as well...once i read it i might hand it over to Jess to have as well and maybe i'll be lucky and find it again but they only have one of those. and i also bought a book from this Vietnamese monk about Buddha called "Old Path White Clouds" and the main reason why i got that is well i don't have any Buddhism books and 2 the meditation group that i just started going to that is the teachings (the monk not Buddha himself)of who they follow so i picked that up to hopefully get a better understanding...cause to be frank i always here stuff about Buddhism but i never really know what they truly believe...hopefully this book will clear some stuff up.

oh yeah before the bookstore i went to the organic store and picked up some soy milk and a vitamin water. but i also ran into a curious thing with tea...at least it's new to me...but i can't find it anywhere on the internet because i forgot what it's called.....from what i gaher it's kinda like a coffee press effect but not....you use a metal or wooden straw and the cups are like a gourd or wood..and there all fancy looking but it looks like the leaves are loose but the straw is vented so almost as to get the liquid but not the leaves....i don't know but once i start getting paid i'm going to get one and give it a go since this store has all kinds of tea and it's loose tea too not in any bag or what not.

after that (this is after the bookstore) i went home for a little while played a little X-box, read a little bit of my book about dragon magick. then went to the market and picked up some food for a few days. and came back here watched a film and now i'm here.

but anyway i think if this were paper it would be about 3 pages worth (considering my writing) so i think this is a good place to stop

and for my enjoyment more then yours since i talked about within temptation i now have to put a few videos below.



this is by far my favorite song by them...too bad it's not a video video but one of those stupid slide show things with the stupid pictures

ah and this can relate to my past very well


Stupid video....i don't like the way she acts in it...but good song

So I'm not sure if people actually are going to want to be reading my blogs much anymore but i'm actually going to be using this as a real journal i'm starting my training and well first thing is first is i'm supposed to start a journal and right at least 3 pages a day. and it says if i can't think of stuff to fill in for roughly 3 pages start repeating the sentence "i can't think of anything to write" the reason is so i get sick of writing/typing that that i find something to write about in my life even if it's the most boring as hell thing in the world. i'm going to be doing this for 2 reasons....1. to start my spiritual path and then 2. is to get in the habbit of writing sooo much that i start writing my book....granted i still need to do research on quite a bit of things. i have my book on alchemy though it's only one book, i have my book on dragons and dragon magick (sorry you can't have a fantasy book without dragons....you just can't) and i even got myself a crystal ball and a book about that to study that.....granted not a real one...though i'd like to get a real one there so beautiful but your looking at $200 for one the size of my fist....yikes. and i need to do a few more things as far as studying goes to really get this book on the ball. i have the story down to the T i mean there is a few mystery things that i'm unsure of cause well i want to try to make it really unique and not be a typical type fantasy book.....nice little people in a village get taken away on a adventure (lol thats how my book starts...so sue me) and fights an evil that will dominate the whole world.....i want to put a really big spin on it...something to question your own life choices, your own faith...and yes with who i am it's going to be deeply died into religion....i want it to be a story but a story with a huge underlining of religion and politics.....that even though you know it's a story of fantasy that i'm trying to get real world topics across to you. but without a doubt the writing is going to be very unique. i think anyone that knows my personality will agree on that much. I want to bring the fantasy genre to a whole new level where not everyone can handle it to a certain extent. that is the #1 thing that has always bothered me about fantasy....at the very most and this is pushing it fantasy books if rated movie wise PG-13 is the max i've seen it. I want it to use my term "gritty" i want it R to possibly NC-17 and i'm not talking just sex...cause i'm sure thats exactly the first thing that crosses there mind when they think NC-17...no I'm talking about bringing the worst realities of this world into a work of fantasy...sure there is going to be sex in it.....but there is also going to be rape, cannibalism, gay sex (since that is still a big issue....and i'm talking about gay sex not the good kind hehe) occultism, self mutilation, torture just anything that could be taboo and make it super detailed and super "gritty"

I'm not sure why i feel i need to write in this manner maybe i do need to get my own demons out....or maybe it's just that i feel that what John Doe from "Se7en" is write when he said "Wanting people to listen, you can't just tap them on the shoulder anymore. You have to hit them with a sledgehammer, and then you'll notice you've got their strict attention."

New Documentary that is a must watch people.