I must have no loved you.  

Posted by Darkmaer

Even though i haven't heard from her but in all honestly i do hope that down the road when she is willing to learn how love is supposed to work that maybe she will get back in touch with me. but i thought i'd share this since i'm assuming in her eyes i prolly never loved her etc etc. i was digging into my stuff yesterday and found something that (despite how much i feel like i've been tossed aside in my eyes)  means alot to me. it's something small most people wouldn't care about it. but when i first met her she only wrote down one thing for me (i think i had just put her number into my phone as she gave me that) but i was starting to get into industrial a little more and asked what are some good bands along with getting her myspace address. so she had written all that down on a piece of paper from where she worked. I saved that paper even when we were on not talking terms...why? why else would i hold onto something that to the normal person that didn't care about someone. well it's because i loved that person and she did mean the world to me. in the long run i hope she sees what has happened and hopefully she learns from it and makes someone truly happy....i made that request also to my ex and she I feel did learn alot with us and is now happily married...so i can only hope the same goes for Sarah.

WHAT THE HELL!!!  

Posted by Darkmaer

so i was looking around on Twitter trying to find people i may know and all the sudden i had the idea to look up Katie/Kate (ex suicide girl / and now Gods Girl). shes prolly my favorite (though a little on the messed up side check out her cupcake girls dvd...not for the faint of heart) girl out of both those sites so i do a quick search since i found out her name a long time ago so i do a quick search on google real quick to see if i did remember it correctly...and this photo pops up.

WHY IN ALL THAT IS HOLY IS SHE HANGING OUT WITH THAT DOUCHE BAG!!! I'm very saddened by it.

i think i'm going to go cry in a corner now.

but seriously i really don't care but i never thought i'd see a pair like that hanging out....lucky basterd (and i'm talking about pete not kate...she definately is not lucky IMHO

too funny  

Posted by Darkmaer

Some actual news to tell everyone about  

Posted by Darkmaer

Well since i'm back on linux i get to discover all the underground apps that don't get much attention becuase well they don't have that big of a support group...i mean who would support something and put money into something that is free...so investers arn't going to get a dime back...but you know what if people actually did that we would have a much better world for it. but anyway of course one of the first things i'm going to do is look for media players granted linux comes with everything to get you started but of course i want something a little more robust and feature filled. well I ran into Songbird which has a simular look like itunes but it's just way better because it's open source. why is open source so cool? well people get to mess with it how ever they want and they can choose to make some really cool features. but right off the bat it's a music slash webbrowser. that right there allows you to have huge strides over most media players. so when you start listening to your collection it gives you everything from artist info, reviews, pics, videos, news. it also allows you to buy concert tickets. plus shoutcast is built in so all the internet radio stations you could want and last.fm is built in as well so you can favorite tracks automatically without going to last.fm. thats just the beginning then they have pluggins since it is open source. you can add stuff that itunes already has for example like coverflow. but one of my favorite thing so far that ive found is you can download a plugin to get lyrics from websites so you can have the lyrics right there when your listening to it instead of having to bring up firefox (oh btw this music player is based off firefox source code). anyway because it is open source it's available for anyone to download on all the really main OS's (windows, OSX, Linux) i say give it a shot :D.


Also i'm pretty excited because i finally got my first book from Easton Press. in case your not aware of who they are they are a self promoting book puplisher and they only make top quility hand crafted leather bound books and because they self promote there able to sell the books alot cheaper then if they went through the common typical ways of paying a whole bunch of middle men to get the products into some stores. so books that would easily go for $100 bucks a pop (my guess would be more then that with the quility of these books) they can sell them really cheap. so i started up there one program called The Hundred Greatest Books Ever Written. which if you could guess they are going to be giving me a 100 books. but it's a long process because obviously nobody unless there rich (were roughly looking at $5000 in books) would be able to afford it all at once. so they do a little subscription plan for you. so i get my first book at just $10 that includes shipping and then each book after that is $45 (that price is garanteed for 2 years...after that the price might go up cause of inflation and the price of matierials). so i'm doing this for a couple of reasons. first and formost i love books and i love leather bound books the most and i'd love to have a small library of my own one day and even more a small leatherbound library. This is going to make my dream come true. Second reason is well i was in SPED classes all my life so i never got to read the classics in school...with this i'll be able to as well as get amazing looking books. and thirdly and surely not lastly. if and when i have kids i want them to experience great classic books and stories they they will be able to fall in love with and make there imagination go to work. but anyway the first book i got which is the only one they actually can offically tell me i'm getting (they give them to me as they are made type of thing so if moby dick is produced right around the time i am supposed to get my newest book thats the one i get...but it could be something else) was huckleberry fin...i fell in love with the book right away the quility is amazing. the best that i've seen no leatherbound book i have comes close to it in quility. anyway i started reading it and all i have to say is that isn't the huck fin i remember when i was a kid...this version (the original) is not for kids at all (which i had no idea). they like to say the nigger work alot in this book. and one of the pics in the book is this witch naked riding a black guy like a horse (umm if you haven't read the story then you prolly wouldn't understand why there is a picture like that) but yeah very shocking from what i was used when i was a kid. but anyway great art in it and great product. if your looking to have a nice library i would definately go and check out these books. you can return the books you don't want and cancel the subscription at anytime. but they also have many more different types of books from every genre and you can buy them individually if you so wish...anyway check it out.

My personal opinion of the 3 best bands to come out of the 80's  

Posted by Darkmaer

Hey i Just thought i'd put a blog about this up because well i've been listening to all 3 quite a bit lately and thought i'd put a blog up and see if anybody has any other opinions or whatever....though i don't think anybody really reads this blog anyway.

The Cure:















New Order:



















Depeche mode:



















Though i have to say if i had to choose between all 3 i'd def say depeche mode...there style is amazing and without then i wouldn't have assemblage 23 in my life.

but all in all these are my 3 favorite bands to come out of the 80's though there are hundreds of bands from the 80's that i love.